Hot Fudge Overheard

About all things in and around the Detroit area

Re: Hot Fudge Overheard

Postby Navy Blue Scrubs » Sun Apr 05, 2015 12:34 pm

AA mother of an infant patient expressing her frustration at being here for hours (like a hundred other people) to AA staff physician - "I don't want to have to start acting like a Black person here."

Same woman reportedly talking about our tech - "If that Indian fucker walks by and looks in our room one more time..." I asked him if he was Indian, I had assumed some Middle Eastern ancestry, and he said he was "Pakistani, close enough". I have no reason to assume he's not as American as anybody else.

cross to Racist/Xenophobic, Huh? and Funny How Some People Can Say Things That I Would Be Instantly Fired For
User avatar
Navy Blue Scrubs
Hot Fudge Arrogant Little Fuck
 
Posts: 1024
Joined: Mon Aug 31, 2009 6:59 pm
Location: just sit down and I'll get to you when I can

Re: Hot Fudge Overheard

Postby guest » Wed May 27, 2015 12:44 pm

A mechanic walks up to the Ford parts counter with an invoice in hand - "take off the service charge and add $300 to the cost of the transmission". Why? Let me guess; a service charge in the hundreds will piss anybody off but the same amount can be added to the price of an already expensive part and nobody will be the wiser. X to Scams, Swindles & Schemes.
User avatar
guest
Hot Fudge Poor Dentition
 
Posts: 6637
Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2007 11:40 am
Location: the old windmill

Re: Hot Fudge Overheard

Postby frank - up in grand blanc » Fri May 29, 2015 12:47 pm

While spending an hour at the dealership this morning I encountered a woman who could well have been a sister to internet sensation Sweet Brown



When I walked into the waiting room she had trapped some nerdy little white guy who was falling all over himself to be polite and sound engaged by nodding and saying uh-huh but at the same time looked like he wanted to die. Customers came and went and she never let up. Some of the more memorable parts...

-her Detroit home ("Mansfield, between Puritan and Six Mile." I know because she announced it) burned out. The insurance company gave her 169K and the home was completely rebuilt from the inside and now they have tile everywhere. "I mean everywhere."
-Insurance company began with an offer of $70,000 but that's no kind of money at all. "You can dream a number and win that much." I'm having the wrong kind of dreams, I think.
-Her mother in law hated her. Hated her. But her own husband married her for love. "That women she tricked her husband. She was seven months pregnant when they got married, but there wasn't no baby in my stomach when I got married because my husband loved me." I get what she was saying, but you could argue it the other way, too.
-Security guard who chased then shot dead the man who robbed his house... he did a good thing. No argument from me.

I could go on, but I'll cut to the chase. This one dude showed up and was kind of into the screed and after a while tried to jump in with a story of his own. "My house was struck by lightening and burned" he offered. Now that's got to be a pretty interesting story, but it didn't slow down Sweet II one bit.
User avatar
frank - up in grand blanc
HFD Marketing Consultant or Dumbass
 
Posts: 9163
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 8:42 pm
Location: "Avatar repossessed for history of non-payment.."

Re: Hot Fudge Overheard

Postby RoryKasel » Thu Jun 11, 2015 8:15 am

Two ladies at the grocery store:

"I ran into Richie a couple weeks ago."

"Oh yeah? How's he doing?"

"He's doing really good. I guess he cut way back on the heroin but he's drinking a lot more."
RoryKasel
Hot Fudge Regular
 
Posts: 541
Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2009 9:59 pm

Re: Hot Fudge Overheard

Postby guest » Mon Sep 07, 2015 5:58 pm

Kid with his mom in front of me at the Honeybee/El Colmena checkout. Kid is hugging this hideous gargoyle looking thing -

"Honey, it's a pinata; it's going to get smacked"

Cross to Explanations.

Turns out that they're sold empty and you fill them up with whatever. I asked. Mom also shared that she's bought cheap ones but the Honeybee models are "virtually indestructable". Huh, I thought destruction was the whole idea. Cross to Ride the Kids Hard and Put Them to Bed Wet.

Also, specific themed pinatas may or may not be available by special order. Hold off on that Trump, Hillary or Obama model until we're sure we can get them.
User avatar
guest
Hot Fudge Poor Dentition
 
Posts: 6637
Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2007 11:40 am
Location: the old windmill

Re: Hot Fudge Overheard

Postby frank - up in grand blanc » Mon Feb 01, 2016 12:05 pm

OMG: NAACP leader uses F-word to apologize for using T-word after N-word meeting


http://www.theamericanmirror.com/omg-naacp-leader-uses-f-word-to-apologize-for-using-t-word-after-n-word-meeting/

Synopsis: high school kids in Phoenix play a racist prank and are compelled to publicly kiss ass and cry and apologize. In covering the event broadcast media gets remarks from the head of the local NAACP (a white guy, by the look of it). NAACP head forgets the absolute rule that every mic and every camera should always be regarded as live, which in this case they were and it's fortunate that they were or we'd not have heard him remark after the interview that one of the reporters has a nice rack.
User avatar
frank - up in grand blanc
HFD Marketing Consultant or Dumbass
 
Posts: 9163
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 8:42 pm
Location: "Avatar repossessed for history of non-payment.."

Re: Hot Fudge Overheard

Postby frank - up in grand blanc » Mon May 23, 2016 12:08 pm

...nipping...


I'm going to leave out the actual dialogue, but the long & short of it is (1) nipping is a fashion faux pas for girls, (2) guys have probably never heard the term (I hadn't) but we know what it is and up to a certain age spotting it is like finding gold, and (3) surgical tape offers a ready solution. Oh, and (4) evidently one of my little girls now has cans.
User avatar
frank - up in grand blanc
HFD Marketing Consultant or Dumbass
 
Posts: 9163
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 8:42 pm
Location: "Avatar repossessed for history of non-payment.."

Re: Hot Fudge Overheard

Postby middle aged female » Mon May 23, 2016 4:43 pm

frank - up in grand blanc wrote:
...nipping...


I'm going to leave out the actual dialogue, but the long & short of it is (1) nipping is a fashion faux pas for girls, (2) guys have probably never heard the term (I hadn't) but we know what it is and up to a certain age spotting it is like finding gold, and (3) surgical tape offers a ready solution. Oh, and (4) evidently one of my little girls now has cans.

I think you're going to have to find a new adjective other than "little" for your daughter now.
User avatar
middle aged female
Hot Fudge Designated Driver
 
Posts: 7406
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 9:22 am

Re: Hot Fudge Overheard

Postby frank - up in grand blanc » Wed Jun 08, 2016 7:53 am

I heard something and figured it out at a high school graduate's open house last weekend.

1. You have to be pretty old to have the name "Dick"
2. You have to be pretty old to be comfortable shouting across the din to a new acquaintance "Dick; my name is Dick!"

Living fossils, you know. When time finally takes them then the cruel twist of language and culture will have passed.
User avatar
frank - up in grand blanc
HFD Marketing Consultant or Dumbass
 
Posts: 9163
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 8:42 pm
Location: "Avatar repossessed for history of non-payment.."

Re: Hot Fudge Overheard

Postby Craig » Tue Apr 11, 2017 8:46 am

Skynet is trying to divide us...

New Zealand passport robot tells applicant of Asian descent to open his eyes


http://www.scmp.com/news/asia/australasia/article/2052602/new-zealand-passport-robot-tells-applicant-asian-descent-open

These are still the early days of AI an autonomous robots, but in time we will all be speaking with 'bots on a near-constant basis and the nature of those exchanges are TBD. Personally, I don't need to worry about being told to open my eyes (unless I'm really, really high) but I have been bitched at more than once by the self-checkout 'bots at Kroger, Meijer, and Home Depot. Meijer's set-up is especially galling because it speaks in a loud voice and is all over me to put my shit in a bag, to check my cart, etc. Really, the experience is like dealing with a narc kid back in school as in "Mrs. Jones! Craig is not being a good citizen; he's not sitting up straight in his chair!" Of course the live checkers are usually about as satisfying as an interaction with person suffering from clinical depression so one is kinda stuck between poor alternatives.
Soon I discovered that this rock-thing was true...
User avatar
Craig
Hot Fudge Regular
 
Posts: 747
Joined: Sat Sep 06, 2008 2:13 pm
Location: Where you're from is gone, where you thought you were going war'nt never there

Re: Hot Fudge Overheard

Postby Navy Blue Scrubs » Tue Apr 11, 2017 10:30 am

Craig wrote: I have been bitched at more than once by the self-checkout 'bots at Kroger, Meijer, and Home Depot. Meijer's set-up is especially galling because it speaks in a loud voice...


Bystanders laugh at me when I respond with shut the fuck up.

Research shows that people hate self-scanning, yet the machines remain with us.

Phone-bots are getting smarter. I get calls from robots that are almost convincing and know how to respond as if there's an actual conversation going on. And going through the AT&T phone menu it knows what I mean when I tell it to fuck off - "I can see that you're upset" - but I must admit that I appreciate the Blade Runner sound effects as it pretends to flick through index cards to access my file.

The phones at work are horrible. To call the operator or anybody else you have to suffer through a speech. The lab is the worst; she starts talking about how to get on the internet. Bitch, if I wanted to be on the internet I'd be on, and off, the internet already. I just want to find out why the electrolytes aren't resulted. To reinforce the pain, the woman they hire to record all this bullshit speaks ex-cru-ciat-ing-ly slow. She does the visiting-hours-are-ending announcement at 7:30, 7:45 and 8:00 also. She's so cheerfully soporific that you just want to throw acid in her eyes. If I could go back in time her parents would be dead. Hers and the guy's who invented the call light. I'll stop now. There'll be no end to it if I start in on the annoyingly upbeat, loud and totally distorted music they make everybody suffer through.
User avatar
Navy Blue Scrubs
Hot Fudge Arrogant Little Fuck
 
Posts: 1024
Joined: Mon Aug 31, 2009 6:59 pm
Location: just sit down and I'll get to you when I can

Re: Hot Fudge Overheard

Postby Craig » Tue Apr 11, 2017 11:48 am

Navy Blue Scrubs wrote:
The phones at work are horrible. To call the operator or anybody else you have to suffer through a speech. The lab is the worst; she starts talking about how to get on the internet. Bitch, if I wanted to be on the internet I'd be on, and off, the internet already.


There's a similarly hateable path through our HelpDesk at my shop. For IT support we either create and submit a ticket online OR we dial into a call center in the Philippines, but if you choose to call then before you can get "Mark" or "Jane" on the line you're subjected to 60+ second scolding for not opting first to seek help online. Well, shithead, if I could boot up this POS laptop I would but as I cannot what is gained by frustrating me further?

In the early days of this career I had a training course for the specialized software that we use in this business. The teachers were from the software company, but the important part was they admitted that at their telephone help line it was standard practice to make callers wait on hold for a while before reaching an operator/technician/helper. "You see," they explained, "people will solve their own problems if they're forced to sit and think about the issue while waiting for someone else to just show up and like magic make things better." Honestly, I wanted to pummel this bitch because I'm certain that most who call are like me, i.e. want to avoid at all cost pissing away time with hold music and then a low-ambition doofus with a condescending air in order to learn how to perform an arcane graphing function.
Soon I discovered that this rock-thing was true...
User avatar
Craig
Hot Fudge Regular
 
Posts: 747
Joined: Sat Sep 06, 2008 2:13 pm
Location: Where you're from is gone, where you thought you were going war'nt never there

Re: Hot Fudge Overheard

Postby middle aged female » Tue Apr 11, 2017 12:03 pm

I'd still rather deal with either one of those phone systems than Epson's "live" support. Priority one OUGHT to be the ability to at least understand English. I spent an hour on the phone with Japan trying to figure out where to send the library's brand new and already fucked up all in one printer. There was no problem with it being under warranty but the "help tech" kept telling me to send it to Fed Ex. I'd say, okay, I'll get it to them but where do I address it to? Fed Ex. Okay, I'll arrange the pickup, but what is the address? Fed Ex. I'm supposed to Fed Ex the printer to Fed Ex. Ahhh, yes.
For a solid hour. I had an audience of all the library employees, laughing so hard I'd thought they'd pee. My boss walked in and wanted to know what fresh hell this was. All we could say was Fed Ex!!
User avatar
middle aged female
Hot Fudge Designated Driver
 
Posts: 7406
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 9:22 am

Re: Hot Fudge Overheard

Postby The Suburban Avenger » Tue Apr 11, 2017 1:22 pm

I needed to get something from the office at Valpo that issues student IDs and parking passes. The kid in front of me had a beef because he'd gotten his third parking ticket for parking in the wrong lot (yeah, it's a racket, but ignorance of said racket is no defense) and proceeded to whine about how unfair this was because his friends park there all the time and never get tickets and he should get a break because he's already tight on money and ...

He finally just paid the ticket.

Heaven help this young man if he ever finds himself in front of a judge in the near future.
My hand to God, she's gonna be at Carnegie Hall. But you - I'll let you have her now at the old price, OK? Which is, which is anything you wanna give me. Anything at all.
User avatar
The Suburban Avenger
HFD Widely Published Freelance Writer
 
Posts: 6707
Joined: Fri Mar 23, 2007 1:51 pm
Location: About $8.25 in tolls from Chicago.

Re: Hot Fudge Overheard

Postby Craig » Tue Apr 11, 2017 5:40 pm

The Suburban Avenger wrote:I needed to get something from the office at Valpo that issues student IDs and parking passes. The kid in front of me had a beef because he'd gotten his third parking ticket for parking in the wrong lot (yeah, it's a racket, but ignorance of said racket is no defense) and proceeded to whine about how unfair this was because his friends park there all the time and never get tickets and he should get a break because he's already tight on money and ...

He finally just paid the ticket.

Heaven help this young man if he ever finds himself in front of a judge in the near future.


Millennials, right? This younger generation can claim the moral high ground for caring about green house gases and recycling, but they truly can be a bunch of babies in comparison to the earlier generations. I don't intend for this to become a political shit-slinging match, but I rolled my eyes at the actual tears that flowed with the Trump electoral victory when I remember the days when "vote the black slate" billboards filled Detroit. In those days people just soldiered on. And then there was the millennial-type who would burst into tears if I gave him what he regarded as too many projects at work. I'm talking shoulder-shaking sobs... until I was able to assemble the case for HR to give him the heave-ho I took to keeping a box of tissue in my office for the inevitable outbursts.

Of course I'm not 100% against tears or pleading. Some years ago I got a speeding ticket (if you know how I drive you'd be asking how in the hell it came to pass that I met let alone broke the limit), caught the kind of break where they write you up for ten not 20 over, and then asked for a court date. At the court house and before appearing the local PD court officer approached me to ask what I was up to after having been gifted in the way that I already mentioned. "What am I going to do? I'm going to go up there and burst into tears, and then I'm going to open my wallet to show the judge the pictures of all of my kids!" The guy actually laughed and then agreed to work with me to plead out as an equipment violation so that I'd still pay the fine (& court cost) but avoid the points. Cha-ching.
Soon I discovered that this rock-thing was true...
User avatar
Craig
Hot Fudge Regular
 
Posts: 747
Joined: Sat Sep 06, 2008 2:13 pm
Location: Where you're from is gone, where you thought you were going war'nt never there

PreviousNext

Return to General Discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Baidu [Spider] and 2 guests

cron