HFD Memo of the Day

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Re: HFD Memo of the Day

Postby Navy Blue Scrubs » Fri Jan 23, 2015 12:36 pm

With the RN orientation being longer, we are still meeting the criteria for critical pay, we have been approved by ______ ____, COO to extend the RN Critical Pay for one more month until 2/21/15.


This critical pay thing has been going on for months: extra $10/hr for anything worked beyond one's normal hours. I'm a 0.9, 90% of full time or 36 hrs/wk, so the 37th hour gets the premium. No need to get into OT. Some people work fewer hours and this can kick in at 32 hours or less.

This is the result of corporate decisions that invariably blow up on them. My immediate managers really don't give a shit over whatever incentives they may need to employ to fill out the staff (it takes 25-30 RNs to keep the dept going at any given time).

Examples of the nickle and diming they've been doing in recent years:
- eliminated most paid holidays -

- drastic cut to corporate contribution to the "pension" plan (it's not a pension, more like a pre-tax savings account in addition to the 403B).

- eliminated call pay, aka travel time (1.5 hr xtra pay if called in or shift extended).

- freezing raises (used to be they wanted us at the top of the pay scale after 7 yrs, I've been there for a while so I don't care, but it's been stretched out and younger people are pretty much stuck where they are and to put salt in the wound they let it all get out of sync so someone with less time in may make more than someone with more seniority).

- eliminated CTO sell back (okay, you're short-staffed already and then you decide to make sure that people take a full vacation? This was free money in their pockets as it wasn't paid out until November each year. I work three days a week, back to back, which means 6 on and 8 off (read that as two vacations a month) so I don't need any vacations. Just pay me. Actually, my managers don't give a shit and they pay out my CTO whenever I ask for it, even if I work 70 or more hours in a week. I don't think they're supposed to do that, but it works for me).

- a ridiculous emphasis on customer satisfaction survey results (our "customers" start boozing the minute they wake up, forsake food for crack and heroin for days at a time (I haven't eaten in three days is a mantra for these types), think we're a clinic to drag in all six of their kids for cold symptoms, or think it's a place to get socks, underwear, food and narcotics, they assault us verbally and physically and steal everything that isn't locked up and we're expected to coddle them, even security is afraid to challenge people on most issues but one day last week I did witness no fewer than 3 people get cuffed - note to people with warrants: don't act the fool and draw attention to yourself if a PD somewhere says they'll come get you).

- redefined what qualifies for off shift premium (used to be extra 7% for anything worked after 3PM, now you have to put in a minimum block of hours after 3P to qualify).

I think the last thing was the last straw that triggered a mass exodus of senior day shift staff to the university hospital in Ann Arbor for an extra $10/hr, what's described as a really good benefit package and a shot at state retirement bennies, and a set patient load and a lot less work as most tasks we're used to doing are delegated to teams. IV teams, lifting teams, every kind of team you could imagine.

A lot of people left for that. This is why we have a shitload of bodies on orientation, and it's why they have to offer a $$$ incentive to fill the holes. Orientation involves about 4 months of one on one pairing with a preceptor and a shitload of classes. This is unbelievably expensive and a major incentive to keep people on the job and avoid hiring ones who obviously only want to get some experience and pad their resumes.

The COO mentioned in the memo is the same one who got the brainstorm to eliminate the free Thanksgiving meal a few years ago. Okay, cut the fucking meal if you have to, but let us know about more than a day ahead of time (it went out in an email and was mentioned in huddle the day before: most people don't read their mail daily and a lot skip the huddle, or if they work a swing shift like me the huddle is missed every day). I can make my own lunch, I do most days, but if you're expecting a free meal and they suddenly decide to charge $8 for it and everything else is closed because it's a holiday, well, the reaction was so bad that they ended up giving meal vouchers to the whole system. That is, instead of a crappy meal that costs them pretty much next to nothing for the few hundred working that day, they had to pony up money to thousands of people, even the office types who wouldn't even consider working a holiday. Yeah, way to cut costs. That one blowed up real good. And the free meal was brought back.

I'm told there was a meeting where the same COO came down to address staff concerns. Apparently they immediately pissed her off by asking about the class action law suit in which all the local health systems were found to be fixing wages. We sent our paperwork in a year ago last January and have yet to hear peep about it. Then COO had the nerve to say that we don't work all that hard anyway. I'm told it turned into a fuck you no fuck you kind of thing. My immediate supervisors are usually cool, they know enough not to poke a hornet's nest, but the people making big decisions are clueless.

Bottom line, nobody is all that excited about the extra $10.
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Re: HFD Memo of the Day

Postby Roquefort Robert » Sat Jan 24, 2015 9:08 am

Navy Blue Scrubs wrote:
With the RN orientation being longer, we are still meeting the criteria for critical pay, we have been approved by ______ ____, COO to extend the RN Critical Pay for one more month until 2/21/15.


This critical pay thing has been going on for months: extra $10/hr for anything worked beyond one's normal hours. I'm a 0.9, 90% of full time or 36 hrs/wk, so the 37th hour gets the premium. No need to get into OT. Some people work fewer hours and this can kick in at 32 hours or less.

This is the result of corporate decisions that invariably blow up on them. My immediate managers really don't give a shit over whatever incentives they may need to employ to fill out the staff (it takes 25-30 RNs to keep the dept going at any given time).

Examples of the nickle and diming they've been doing in recent years:
- eliminated most paid holidays -

- drastic cut to corporate contribution to the "pension" plan (it's not a pension, more like a pre-tax savings account in addition to the 403B).

- eliminated call pay, aka travel time (1.5 hr xtra pay if called in or shift extended).

- freezing raises (used to be they wanted us at the top of the pay scale after 7 yrs, I've been there for a while so I don't care, but it's been stretched out and younger people are pretty much stuck where they are and to put salt in the wound they let it all get out of sync so someone with less time in may make more than someone with more seniority).

- eliminated CTO sell back (okay, you're short-staffed already and then you decide to make sure that people take a full vacation? This was free money in their pockets as it wasn't paid out until November each year. I work three days a week, back to back, which means 6 on and 8 off (read that as two vacations a month) so I don't need any vacations. Just pay me. Actually, my managers don't give a shit and they pay out my CTO whenever I ask for it, even if I work 70 or more hours in a week. I don't think they're supposed to do that, but it works for me).

- a ridiculous emphasis on customer satisfaction survey results (our "customers" start boozing the minute they wake up, forsake food for crack and heroin for days at a time (I haven't eaten in three days is a mantra for these types), think we're a clinic to drag in all six of their kids for cold symptoms, or think it's a place to get socks, underwear, food and narcotics, they assault us verbally and physically and steal everything that isn't locked up and we're expected to coddle them, even security is afraid to challenge people on most issues but one day last week I did witness no fewer than 3 people get cuffed - note to people with warrants: don't act the fool and draw attention to yourself if a PD somewhere says they'll come get you).

- redefined what qualifies for off shift premium (used to be extra 7% for anything worked after 3PM, now you have to put in a minimum block of hours after 3P to qualify).

I think the last thing was the last straw that triggered a mass exodus of senior day shift staff to the university hospital in Ann Arbor for an extra $10/hr, what's described as a really good benefit package and a shot at state retirement bennies, and a set patient load and a lot less work as most tasks we're used to doing are delegated to teams. IV teams, lifting teams, every kind of team you could imagine.

A lot of people left for that. This is why we have a shitload of bodies on orientation, and it's why they have to offer a $$$ incentive to fill the holes. Orientation involves about 4 months of one on one pairing with a preceptor and a shitload of classes. This is unbelievably expensive and a major incentive to keep people on the job and avoid hiring ones who obviously only want to get some experience and pad their resumes.

The COO mentioned in the memo is the same one who got the brainstorm to eliminate the free Thanksgiving meal a few years ago. Okay, cut the fucking meal if you have to, but let us know about more than a day ahead of time (it went out in an email and was mentioned in huddle the day before: most people don't read their mail daily and a lot skip the huddle, or if they work a swing shift like me the huddle is missed every day). I can make my own lunch, I do most days, but if you're expecting a free meal and they suddenly decide to charge $8 for it and everything else is closed because it's a holiday, well, the reaction was so bad that they ended up giving meal vouchers to the whole system. That is, instead of a crappy meal that costs them pretty much next to nothing for the few hundred working that day, they had to pony up money to thousands of people, even the office types who wouldn't even consider working a holiday. Yeah, way to cut costs. That one blowed up real good. And the free meal was brought back.

I'm told there was a meeting where the same COO came down to address staff concerns. Apparently they immediately pissed her off by asking about the class action law suit in which all the local health systems were found to be fixing wages. We sent our paperwork in a year ago last January and have yet to hear peep about it. Then COO had the nerve to say that we don't work all that hard anyway. I'm told it turned into a fuck you no fuck you kind of thing. My immediate supervisors are usually cool, they know enough not to poke a hornet's nest, but the people making big decisions are clueless.

Bottom line, nobody is all that excited about the extra $10.



Leaving my job of 15 years for a competing shop across town has been the best decision I ever made. I should have done it years ago.
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Re: HFD Memo of the Day

Postby frank - up in grand blanc » Wed Jan 28, 2015 10:28 pm

Got an email before eight this morning from the client's watch-dog: "that fucking agency really, really did it this time." I was cc'd. Shit, what a way to start the day. And not enough detail to know precisely which fuck-up has been discovered and then announced. Going to be one of those all hands on deck kind of days.

When my guys showed up at 8:30 we had a good look and realized that this time it couldn't be us. A combination of competence and ability to bury bodies quite deep, you know. Someone else's problem was discovered, and it couldn't have happened to nicer guys. Ha ha, you simple, lying, amateurish mother fuckers.
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Re: HFD Memo of the Day

Postby guest » Fri Feb 27, 2015 9:12 am

Management sent an email about possible delays at the border, a lot of the people I work with are Canadian, secondary to a budget glitch that will force customs staff to work while not being paid. K sent this reply today -
I can house people if it gets out of control. I have a dog remember.


A dog? Huh?
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Re: HFD Memo of the Day

Postby frank - up in grand blanc » Thu Mar 05, 2015 3:43 pm

I wouldn't be surprised if right now a memo is being created that announces a couple of vacancies at the senior level in my organization at work.

The union that I'm in is spread across many offices, countries, and even continents, meaning that when the boss of bosses wants to motivate the troops (picture Dilbert's pionty-haired boss) it's on a conference call. During today's call, which involved 150+ people, a couple of the participants had a side conversation on their cells while dialed in to the conference call from their desk phones. Promotions had been announced and these two were having the kind of debrief/exchange of notes that only do when under deep, deep cover. If you cannot see what's coming then stop playing now: a desk phone somehow magically became unmuted and THE WOLRD heard about who was fucking whom to get what promotion, who is too dumb to trust alone in front of clients, etc. The guilty parties in this case are among my circle of friends, and in that I was driving on the freeway I literally pulled across lanes of traffic in order to come to a stop and place another call to alert them.

This day has witnessed the king daddy of phranks, or at least the king daddy for this decade.
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Re: HFD Memo of the Day

Postby Amadeus » Tue May 05, 2015 3:38 pm

This came across the email this morning:

Attention Staff:

Recently there have been several missing items from vacant offices, conference rooms and the intake area. Please do NOT remove items from workstations… computers, monitors, mice, keyboards, telephones, cords, chairs, cabinets etc. Relocating items without consent makes it difficult to maintain an accurate inventory of the districts supplies.

If you have removed items from desks of staff on MLOA or vacant offices please return them immediately. If you are in need of equipment please email XXXXX or your assigned supervisor.

Thank you in advance for your cooperation.


Normally the pillaging is reserved for when someone leaves permanently, but in this case, somebody returned from a medical leave to find their chair gone and their keyboard swapped out for somebody's broken one.
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Re: HFD Memo of the Day

Postby frank - up in grand blanc » Tue May 05, 2015 10:01 pm

Amadeus wrote:This came across the email this morning:

Attention Staff:

Recently there have been several missing items from vacant offices, conference rooms and the intake area. Please do NOT remove items from workstations… computers, monitors, mice, keyboards, telephones, cords, chairs, cabinets etc. Relocating items without consent makes it difficult to maintain an accurate inventory of the districts supplies.

If you have removed items from desks of staff on MLOA or vacant offices please return them immediately. If you are in need of equipment please email XXXXX or your assigned supervisor.

Thank you in advance for your cooperation.


Normally the pillaging is reserved for when someone leaves permanently, but in this case, somebody returned from a medical leave to find their chair gone and their keyboard swapped out for somebody's broken one.

So give the guy back his chair, you crooked bastard.
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Re: HFD Memo of the Day

Postby Ansel Rakestraw » Thu Jul 02, 2015 8:40 am

Dear Ansel,

This month homeowners in your area will pay at least a $1183.00 mortgage payment. Of that payment, only about $167.17 of that sum will go towards their equity and $1017.31 will pay interest and escrow.

These homeowners will have to cut their own grass, pay property taxes and homeowner's association dues. When issues arise, the mortgage company won't fix the faucet, provide pest control, or repair a leak in the roof. This weekend while you enjoy your free time, your home owning neighbor will spend their extra time and money at a home improvement store.

We are glad to have you as a resident at The Colony Apartments. While you are here, take pleasure in a completely care free lifestyle!

Thanks for being our resident!
Your Team at The Colony Apartments


I'll remember that next time you come to replace the missing bathroom door knobs with a mismatched set - one side is a plain chrome knob and the other is a faux brass with lots of filligree like its straight from the the Kwikset Elegance Collection of 1978.

This is what you get when you do a six month rental at a place slated to be demolished in nine months. Why they are working so hard to keep tenants with the rezoning all but sure t be approved next month and the bulldozers idling is beyond me.

Oh, and my rent is $1,035 a month + ~$90 - $110 in utilities.
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Re: HFD Memo of the Day

Postby jmy » Thu Jul 02, 2015 6:15 pm

Ansel Rakestraw wrote:
Dear Ansel,

This month homeowners in your area will pay at least a $1183.00 mortgage payment. Of that payment, only about $167.17 of that sum will go towards their equity and $1017.31 will pay interest and escrow.

These homeowners will have to cut their own grass, pay property taxes and homeowner's association dues. When issues arise, the mortgage company won't fix the faucet, provide pest control, or repair a leak in the roof. This weekend while you enjoy your free time, your home owning neighbor will spend their extra time and money at a home improvement store.

We are glad to have you as a resident at The Colony Apartments. While you are here, take pleasure in a completely care free lifestyle!

Thanks for being our resident!
Your Team at The Colony Apartments


I'll remember that next time you come to replace the missing bathroom door knobs with a mismatched set - one side is a plain chrome knob and the other is a faux brass with lots of filligree like its straight from the the Kwikset Elegance Collection of 1978.

This is what you get when you do a six month rental at a place slated to be demolished in nine months. Why they are working so hard to keep tenants with the rezoning all but sure t be approved next month and the bulldozers idling is beyond me.

Oh, and my rent is $1,035 a month + ~$90 - $110 in utilities.


It's not mismatched! Until you mentioned it, I forgot that bathroom handsets used to come that way. That was Kwikset Elegence in 1978.
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Re: HFD Memo of the Day

Postby Toolbox » Thu Jul 16, 2015 2:04 pm

Saw this at work today...

IMAG5848_zps0kct7rtc.JPG
IMAG5848_zps0kct7rtc.JPG (111.66 KiB) Viewed 5403 times


Cross to Spelling....
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Re: HFD Memo of the Day

Postby frank - up in grand blanc » Thu Jul 16, 2015 4:40 pm

Toolbox wrote:Saw this at work today...

IMAG5848_zps0kct7rtc.JPG


Cross to Spelling....



Brought to mind this old post: http://hotfudgedetroit.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?p=64567#p64567

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Re: HFD Memo of the Day

Postby Navy Blue Scrubs » Tue Jan 26, 2016 8:19 pm

Got mail today. From Kym Worthy's office. It was a subpoena. Apparently I'm going to testify on Jan 11 2015. Postmark was Jan 4 2016. They sent it to the legal office. I don't even know where that is and I'm pretty sure it's not in this building. It's OK, I got the thing and it only took 3 weeks.

So I called the guy. Told him I didn't think I could make it. He told me not to worry about it. Did I sound worried?

I've only been subpoenaed once before, about 15 years ago at a different job. At that place there was a break room and they'd stick things in a cubbyhole for you. I never got anything in my cubby...oh, wait, what's in my cubbyhole? Mail? For me? It was from the prosecutor's office. They said I drew someone's blood at [name of hospital where I'd worked before and work now but wasn't working at the time - crossed out - name of hospital where I was actually working at that time written in] and I was needed to testify a week ago. I wonder how long that had been sitting there. Still waiting for repercussions from that one.

It's a wonder the motherfuckers convict anybody. Ever.
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Re: HFD Memo of the Day

Postby frank - up in grand blanc » Tue May 31, 2016 12:31 pm

American Legion Post 413
__________________________________
Closed Mondays from June 6th - September 5th


The guys at the post are going to be angrier than they were after the Malmedy massacre.
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Re: HFD Memo of the Day

Postby frank - up in grand blanc » Tue Jun 21, 2016 5:10 pm

Surprise: the 90-minute all-people meeting scheduled for this afternoon... we're having drinks courtesy of the team that services liquor clients. So it turns out that Dewars is a boatload more better than the standard issue bottom-shelf scotch that everyone knows from their grandpa and eccentric uncles. More better.
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Re: HFD Memo of the Day

Postby frank - up in grand blanc » Fri Jul 01, 2016 2:12 pm

Your trip has been approved and you will receive a Trip Case notification with your complete itinerary, once the ticket has been issued. No further action is required on your part.


Melbourne here I come! To say that the flight sucks is to make an understatement, but the thrill of flying to other side of the world on the company and then tearing things up... looking forward to it.
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