Hot Fudge oh fuck you Sports Edition

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Re: Hot Fudge oh fuck you Sports Edition

Postby Andy » Wed Sep 04, 2013 11:49 am

I remember being disappointed the Lions didn't go after (then) New England Patriots exec Scott Pioli. Shows how much I know.

Now, as if destroying the Kansas City Chiefs wasn't enough, he has to whine about it. However the pity party ends with a pat on the back from himself. Isn't it sweet that a weather event brought everyone together? I'm sure they all learned a lesson on perspective.

1. I learned that the title “general manager” is actually a very accurate name for the role because of the wide variety of tasks you do every day. Less time is spent doing the job you fell in love with, which in my case is the purity of the game and competition. A general manager’s duties differ from team to team, based on the hierarchy in the organizational structure. Regardless, much more of a GM’s time is spent managing situations, crises and circumstances involving the players, coaches and everyone else in the football operation. Once in my tenure, we had to advise a player to disassociate himself from friends who were living with him. They were raising pit bulls on his property—very aggressive pit bulls. He did not want the dogs on his property, but didn’t know how to get rid of the dogs or his friends. We had to help him solve both problems and that was not an easy task. It cost us at least 10 hours of work, the equivalent of a full day we could have been spending trying to make our team better. It also cost the player a lot of money.

***************


10. One of the most important things that was reinforced to me over the last four years is this: Football is the best teacher of any sport in the world. It teaches us about teamwork and about ourselves. It can also reach the public in profound ways. In May 2010 a catastrophic EF5 tornado ripped through Joplin, Mo., killing 158 people and destroying everything in its path. At the time, the NFL and the NFLPA were in the middle of a lockout and an ugly battle against one another. However, both sides ceased the temporary madness and came together for the greater good of an NFL community. The players and the Chiefs organization came together for the people of Joplin. We worked together to clean and rebuild. Some of our work was simply hugging them and showing our support, just like they had shown us for years at Arrowhead.

http://mmqb.si.com/2013/09/04/10-things ... l-manager/
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Re: Hot Fudge oh fuck you Sports Edition

Postby The Suburban Avenger » Fri Sep 06, 2013 11:45 am

Nation’s largest online mortgage lender creates “dream seating” section at Ford Field, increase presence in stadium
The new look 2013 Detroit Lions won’t be the only thing attracting attention inside Ford Field this Sunday when they play the Minnesota Vikings – fans will surely notice an entire new section of seating – the “Quicken Loans Dream Seats” – ­located above Section 100/141. The new premium seating section and several other branding elements are all part of a multi-year partnership between Quicken Loans and the Detroit Lions.

The Dream Seat section, the only of its kind in the National Football League, will feature 54 overstuffed black leather recliners embroidered with the Quicken Loans logo. The comfortable seats will also have large high definition LCD televisions mounted in front of them so the fans in the section can catch up on scores from other games or watch replays of the amazing action taking place inside Ford Field. An additional eight “premium” Dream Seats will be located in the first row above the player tunnel where the team enters and exits the field, offering amazing views of the action, and the opportunity to get very close to the Detroit Lions superstars.

The Dream Seats will be available to team members and business partners of the Quicken Loans family of companies for all Detroit Lions home games, as well as select events taking place at Ford Field.


Translation: We're doing fuck all to make sure our employees and clients don't have to mingle with the rest of you peasants.

“When you are betting big on Detroit, like we are doing, there is really nobody better to partner with in the city than the Detroit Lions,” said Jay Farner, President and Chief Marketing Officer of Quicken Loans.

Image
The PR aide who had to write that sentence just lost some of their soul ... it'll never come back.

“But we didn’t just want to do something conventional, we wanted to create a strong lasting relationship, while also rewarding our hard working team members. We’ve certainly accomplished that with the Dream Seats, I’ve never seen anything like this – it’s like a suite, but with much better seats and your own TV.”


(Puts on old man scowl) Then why in the fuck not just stay home and watch the game? I have an overstuffed leather recliner and my own TV, too. And I can sit around Chez SA in my underpants to watch the game if I want to.

In addition to the Dream Seats, the sponsorship contains several other elements, including:
Official Lender – Quicken Loans will now serve as the Official Mortgage Lender of the Detroit Lions.
Tunnel Tarp Signage – The Lions will run onto the field each game under the Quicken Loans tunnel tarp.
Player Tunnel Graphics – Quicken Loans sister company Fathead, the leading brand of officially licensed sports, entertainment and custom wall decals, has created a custom graphic in the tunnel between the locker room and playing field to inspire the Lions as they rush the field.
In-stadium Signage – Quicken Loans will have multiple advertisements located throughout Ford Field.
Outdoor Signage – Quicken Loans will have the option to post a large outdoor banner on the side of the team’s parking structure, facing Interstate 375, greeting fans as they enter downtown Detroit.
Microphone and Interview Backdrop – Each time Detroit Lions Head Coach Jim Schwartz or a Lions player appears in front of the media post-game or at the team’s practice facility, they will do so with Quicken Loans logos on the backdrop and microphone.
North Club Lounge – Quicken Loans will sponsor the Club Lounge, which is accessible by all fans holding a suite or club level ticket. The lounge is a great place to gather or have a drink before or during the game.


And when a Lions player is sufficiently concussed and no longer useful on the field, the Quicken Loans Lions helmet car will remove his belongings from his house after it goes into foreclosure.

“This is a tremendous opportunity to work with a great Detroit-based company who is as dedicated to the city of Detroit as we are,” said Detroit Lions President Tom Lewand. “We are excited to be able to offer a premium experience to the Quicken Loans team, and look forward to working as partners for years to come.”


Fuck you, Tom Lewand. Fuck you sideways with the antenna from the Penobscot Building in your stupid fucking ass.
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Re: Hot Fudge oh fuck you Sports Edition

Postby The Beav » Fri Sep 06, 2013 7:33 pm

The Suburban Avenger wrote:
(Puts on old man scowl) Then why in the fuck not just stay home and watch the game? I have an overstuffed leather recliner and my own TV, too. And I can sit around Chez SA in my underpants to watch the game if I want to.


Betting that folks in this section will be able to sit in the stands in their underwear.
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Re: Hot Fudge oh fuck you Sports Edition

Postby Andy » Thu Oct 02, 2014 11:51 am

The grand jerk-off to Miguel Cabrera giving up his playoff bonus to focus on the World Series is something else.

The dude signed a $300 million dollar extension recently and all of the sudden he's Mother Teresa because he blew off a bonus that is pocket change to him.
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Re: Hot Fudge oh fuck you Sports Edition

Postby Ansel Rakestraw » Fri Jan 02, 2015 10:39 am

“If everybody in this room just want to be real with themselves, this game could have went either way,” Winston said afterward. “We turned over the ball a lot. We beat ourself. Just be real with yourself right now — we beat ourself.”


Dude. No. Just no.

You got spanked. You gave up 34 unanswered points. You got beat fair and square by what is one of the fastest and most athletic teams of the past 10 years.
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Re: Hot Fudge oh fuck you Sports Edition

Postby The Suburban Avenger » Fri Jan 02, 2015 10:54 am

Ansel Rakestraw wrote:
“If everybody in this room just want to be real with themselves, this game could have went either way,” Winston said afterward. “We turned over the ball a lot. We beat ourself. Just be real with yourself right now — we beat ourself.”


Dude. No. Just no.

You got spanked. You gave up 34 unanswered points. You got beat fair and square by what is one of the fastest and most athletic teams of the past 10 years.


If it was any of the 124 other teams in college football, I would've switched the station once it got to three touchdowns.
Instead, I enjoyed every minute of that beating. Shit, Oregon's offense was averaging a snap every 17 seconds while the game was still in doubt.

Tell me again why TCU, which absolutely destroyed a good, not great, Ole Miss team, didn't belong in the playoff?
My hand to God, she's gonna be at Carnegie Hall. But you - I'll let you have her now at the old price, OK? Which is, which is anything you wanna give me. Anything at all.
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Re: Hot Fudge oh fuck you Sports Edition

Postby Shark » Fri Jan 02, 2015 11:13 pm

“If everybody in this room just want to be real with themselves, this game could have went either way,”


I'd love to read the blue books this thieving rapist of a college student produces.
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Re: Hot Fudge oh fuck you Sports Edition

Postby D-Day » Fri Jan 02, 2015 11:18 pm

Wow....they take this football shit seriously down in Alabama.......and a big roger on the FSU we watched every single second of that utter beatdown. Fuck FSU and fuck the real junk conference in the power 5, the ACC

Where the hell am I going? And what the hell am I doing in this handbasket?
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