Shit My Dad Says

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Re: Shit My Dad Says

Postby middle aged female » Thu Aug 27, 2009 12:38 pm

My dad never did anything when he got home, anyway, so I don't know why she bothered saying it. She was the main disciplinarian, so I guess it was just to make herself feel better while she hit me.
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Re: Shit My Dad Says

Postby Ya Mar » Thu Aug 27, 2009 2:31 pm

I went to Comerica with my dad last summer (with my son - so did get to go to one 3 generational game before he passed) and he must've said 5 times (sorry gully) "holy shit does Brandon Inge suck...he's a damned strikeout artist...a damned strikeout artist!"

Which was followed, as always, by "if there had been expansion in my day, I would certainly have at least gotten a minor league contract..."
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Re:

Postby ldodger » Thu Aug 27, 2009 5:02 pm

gullycanyon wrote:M.A.F., that's interesting, 'cuz "couldn't find his ass with both hands" was one of my dad's big-time faves.


Add 'and a flashlight'

Pops used to say that. Mother used to say, 'Go piss up a rope.' (The ex-nun.)
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Re: Shit My Dad Says

Postby ldodger » Thu Aug 27, 2009 5:03 pm

caseyc wrote:what I will shorthand as "J F C!" always made me cringe a bit, particular if I had friends around.


"there's NO fish in that river..." every Thanksgivng at the Cannon lodge near Baldwin Michigan...Pere Marquette River.


That one gets me too...it's like the topper to G D.

*shudders*
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Re: Shit My Dad Says

Postby ldodger » Thu Aug 27, 2009 5:06 pm

The Beav wrote:
middle aged female wrote:
Doctor Detroit wrote:"Do you want your father to find out about this?" - always said loud enough so that father just found out about this.

That goes with the ever popular 'Just wait until your father gets home'.


Mom never waited. She used a wooden spoon as soon as I deserved it. I'm assuming she thought, "Why should he have all the fun?"


Mother always beat us with those wooden paddles that have the little red ball attached--we never knew it was an actual child's game.
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Re: Shit My Dad Says

Postby jmy » Thu Aug 27, 2009 5:15 pm

After meeting Monica Conyers and her son, my mother stagewhispered, "He's small for his age."
My Goodness! What's going on? What's happening?
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Re: Shit My Dad Says

Postby April St.Clair » Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:26 pm

Being the youngest of three daughters, my Father always refers to me as his "favorite hemroid". It's affectionately poetic for him... otherwise it was always "Sit down and shut up!".
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Re: Shit My Dad Says

Postby caseyc » Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:33 pm

she's built like a brick shithouse


I am pretty sure that this is a good thing......
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Re: Shit My Dad Says

Postby middle aged female » Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:05 pm

ldodger wrote:
The Beav wrote:
middle aged female wrote:
Doctor Detroit wrote:"Do you want your father to find out about this?" - always said loud enough so that father just found out about this.

That goes with the ever popular 'Just wait until your father gets home'.


Mom never waited. She used a wooden spoon as soon as I deserved it. I'm assuming she thought, "Why should he have all the fun?"


Mother always beat us with those wooden paddles that have the little red ball attached--we never knew it was an actual child's game.


Mine used to refer to me as 'Queen shit on her pile'. Ah, the love
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Re: Shit My Dad Says

Postby Roquefort Robert » Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:11 pm

Most of my memorable quotes came from my grandfather. The few things I remember him saying were,

"Get out muh road!"

"Want to help me in the garden today, bud?" (Usually said when my 8 year old ass was just waking up).

"Grab me another beer, will ya?"
By using the El Dorado Atmospheric and Oceanic temperatures thermal map. I caculated the contrary direction where the polar jet stream is going and it didn't look pretty.
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Re: Shit My Dad Says

Postby James Scott » Thu Sep 03, 2009 11:03 pm

Grandfather used to, first thing in the morning say, "Pour me two fingers" Which meant 2 fingers worth of whiskey. Then another immediately afterward. I could never understand that. I proobably could have just brought the bottle, after all that. But "maintaining the authenticity" and all that was the immediate goal.

"Slip me a fag will ya" was another good line, by my grandmother. She meant cigarettes by that. I always thought that was odd as well.

"God will punish you" was always popular.

"Wait until you have kids" was another one. This time, they were right.
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Re: Shit My Dad Says

Postby FuzzFudge » Tue Sep 08, 2009 9:47 pm

"I hope you learned something this week, Jiz" - Electronic Drug Dealer
"Bitch, I did not learn a damn thing. Now shut the fuck up, and get me high!"- Jiz
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Re: Shit My Dad Says

Postby Roquefort Robert » Tue Sep 08, 2009 9:53 pm


Cross post "Late to the party", please.
By using the El Dorado Atmospheric and Oceanic temperatures thermal map. I caculated the contrary direction where the polar jet stream is going and it didn't look pretty.
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Re: Shit My Dad Says

Postby The Beavis » Tue Sep 08, 2009 11:58 pm

Shit granpa says-
When we would use to much cologne or deoderant, "You smell like a nigger whorehouse"
"Quit bouncin' around like a fart on a grill"
Grandpa says to asian nurse after he comes to from #4 stroke- "Get the hell away from me! I shoulda killed all you japs when I had the chance back in the war!"
Dad says to nurse- "It would probably be for the better if you didn't send in any black nurses either."

If you have ever watched king of the hill, my grandpa was basically cotton hill.
You must kill dead people, if you don't they will eat your brains.
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Re: Shit My Dad Says

Postby FuzzFudge » Wed Sep 09, 2009 7:25 pm

Roquefort Robert wrote:

Cross post "Late to the party", please.


I failed on my first try? Good thing I saved all those sleeping pills. Good bye, cruel world!
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"Bitch, I did not learn a damn thing. Now shut the fuck up, and get me high!"- Jiz
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