Kids say the darnedest things

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Kids say the darnedest things

Postby middle aged female » Fri Aug 30, 2013 10:49 am

I thought there was a similar thread but I can't find it so here goes.
Yesterday, took the grandsons (ages 9 and 7) to Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum, which is largely an arcade with really cool old machines as well as some of the newer ones. Some of the machines pay out in tickets, ala Dave and Busters. Between 4 of us we managed to amass 1080 tickets, giving each boy 540 apiece. They both chose their prizes, a baseball sized lollipop and two bouncy balls each. As we were leaving, the older one was having some issues holding on to things so I asked if he wanted me to hold his balls. This, of course led to flurries of giggles from him and a confused look from the 7 yr old. After several times of the incident being brought up again, the little guy finally asked what in heck we were laughing about. His brother said "Don't worry about it, Alec, it's big boy talk". At this point, the look of confusion on Alec's face cleared into a look of derision and he said "Oh, THOSE. I call those dangling balls because that's what they do; they just dangle there".
There was nothing left to say
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Re: Kids say the darnedest things

Postby Roquefort Robert » Fri Aug 30, 2013 12:49 pm

I have to stop walking around the house naked. I knew the day was going to come eventually and now it has. I was watching my friend's two year old kid last week and I had to change his diaper. My 3.5 year old daughter was watching and she looks down and says, "What's that?". I told her that's what boys have and she said she didn't have one of those. "Nope, boys have those, girls don't. Kitty is a boy and he has one, Belle (the dog) is a girl so she doesn't". I am a firm believer of being honest and up front with kids but I wasn't quite ready to add penis and vagina to her vocabulary.

Fast forward a couple days and she's laying in bed when I get home from work. The (male) cat gets in the house and hops up on the bed with the kid. As she's petting him she says, "Kitty is a boy, he has a cula". I didn't understand what the hell she was saying and I had to ask her several times before I realized she was saying Cula, Spanish for ass/butt. I tell her that everyone has a cula, boys and girls. She didn't believe me at first but I think I convinced here eventually. Then she got onto the fact that the little boy from next door has something that she doesn't. Then she says, "Joaquin has..." and trails off because she doesn't know the name but picked up with, "Daddy, you have a big one. You have a banana".

Damn straight kid, but I make sure I have a towel on when I get out of the shower now.
By using the El Dorado Atmospheric and Oceanic temperatures thermal map. I caculated the contrary direction where the polar jet stream is going and it didn't look pretty.
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Re: Kids say the darnedest things

Postby middle aged female » Fri Aug 30, 2013 1:02 pm

Roquefort Robert wrote:I have to stop walking around the house naked. I knew the day was going to come eventually and now it has. I was watching my friend's two year old kid last week and I had to change his diaper. My 3.5 year old daughter was watching and she looks down and says, "What's that?". I told her that's what boys have and she said she didn't have one of those. "Nope, boys have those, girls don't. Kitty is a boy and he has one, Belle (the dog) is a girl so she doesn't". I am a firm believer of being honest and up front with kids but I wasn't quite ready to add penis and vagina to her vocabulary.

Fast forward a couple days and she's laying in bed when I get home from work. The (male) cat gets in the house and hops up on the bed with the kid. As she's petting him she says, "Kitty is a boy, he has a cula". I didn't understand what the hell she was saying and I had to ask her several times before I realized she was saying Cula, Spanish for ass/butt. I tell her that everyone has a cula, boys and girls. She didn't believe me at first but I think I convinced here eventually. Then she got onto the fact that the little boy from next door has something that she doesn't. Then she says, "Joaquin has..." and trails off because she doesn't know the name but picked up with, "Daddy, you have a big one. You have a banana".

Damn straight kid, but I make sure I have a towel on when I get out of the shower now.

At least you've got a banana; when my two girls were just about your little one's age(they're only 13 months apart) they asked their father what "that" was and he replied that it was a penis. Well, he found out that their vocabulary skills weren't up to that yet when a few days later when he was standing at the john and suddenly two little girl heads popped up on either side of him and the older one started chanting "Daddy's got a peanut; daddy's got a peanut".
At least they weren't disappointed later in life.
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Re: Kids say the darnedest things

Postby Roquefort Robert » Fri Aug 30, 2013 1:07 pm

middle aged female wrote:
Roquefort Robert wrote:I have to stop walking around the house naked. I knew the day was going to come eventually and now it has. I was watching my friend's two year old kid last week and I had to change his diaper. My 3.5 year old daughter was watching and she looks down and says, "What's that?". I told her that's what boys have and she said she didn't have one of those. "Nope, boys have those, girls don't. Kitty is a boy and he has one, Belle (the dog) is a girl so she doesn't". I am a firm believer of being honest and up front with kids but I wasn't quite ready to add penis and vagina to her vocabulary.

Fast forward a couple days and she's laying in bed when I get home from work. The (male) cat gets in the house and hops up on the bed with the kid. As she's petting him she says, "Kitty is a boy, he has a cula". I didn't understand what the hell she was saying and I had to ask her several times before I realized she was saying Cula, Spanish for ass/butt. I tell her that everyone has a cula, boys and girls. She didn't believe me at first but I think I convinced here eventually. Then she got onto the fact that the little boy from next door has something that she doesn't. Then she says, "Joaquin has..." and trails off because she doesn't know the name but picked up with, "Daddy, you have a big one. You have a banana".

Damn straight kid, but I make sure I have a towel on when I get out of the shower now.

At least you've got a banana; when my two girls were just about your little one's age(they're only 13 months apart) they asked their father what "that" was and he replied that it was a penis. Well, he found out that their vocabulary skills weren't up to that yet when a few days later when he was standing at the john and suddenly two little girl heads popped up on either side of him and the older one started chanting "Daddy's got a peanut; daddy's got a peanut".
At least they weren't disappointed later in life.


Your daughters are 13 months apart? You really believe in getting right back on the horse the bucked you off, huh?
By using the El Dorado Atmospheric and Oceanic temperatures thermal map. I caculated the contrary direction where the polar jet stream is going and it didn't look pretty.
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Re: Kids say the darnedest things

Postby middle aged female » Fri Aug 30, 2013 1:09 pm

Roquefort Robert wrote:
middle aged female wrote:
Roquefort Robert wrote:I have to stop walking around the house naked. I knew the day was going to come eventually and now it has. I was watching my friend's two year old kid last week and I had to change his diaper. My 3.5 year old daughter was watching and she looks down and says, "What's that?". I told her that's what boys have and she said she didn't have one of those. "Nope, boys have those, girls don't. Kitty is a boy and he has one, Belle (the dog) is a girl so she doesn't". I am a firm believer of being honest and up front with kids but I wasn't quite ready to add penis and vagina to her vocabulary.

Fast forward a couple days and she's laying in bed when I get home from work. The (male) cat gets in the house and hops up on the bed with the kid. As she's petting him she says, "Kitty is a boy, he has a cula". I didn't understand what the hell she was saying and I had to ask her several times before I realized she was saying Cula, Spanish for ass/butt. I tell her that everyone has a cula, boys and girls. She didn't believe me at first but I think I convinced here eventually. Then she got onto the fact that the little boy from next door has something that she doesn't. Then she says, "Joaquin has..." and trails off because she doesn't know the name but picked up with, "Daddy, you have a big one. You have a banana".

Damn straight kid, but I make sure I have a towel on when I get out of the shower now.

At least you've got a banana; when my two girls were just about your little one's age(they're only 13 months apart) they asked their father what "that" was and he replied that it was a penis. Well, he found out that their vocabulary skills weren't up to that yet when a few days later when he was standing at the john and suddenly two little girl heads popped up on either side of him and the older one started chanting "Daddy's got a peanut; daddy's got a peanut".
At least they weren't disappointed later in life.


Your daughters are 13 months apart? You really believe in getting right back on the horse the bucked you off, huh?

Yee-haw!!
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Re: Kids say the darnedest things

Postby guest » Wed Apr 09, 2014 1:06 pm

Amber Alert: Haley Poupard has been found
Taylor police say 8-year-old found sleeping at home in Dearborn Heights


Apparently they moved out of their home and forgot the kid. Shit happens.

...the family had been sleeping in their vehicles in the parking lot of the Comfort Inn off Telegraph Road, and woke to find Poupard missing.


The parents were arrested. Now they have a place to stay.
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Re: Kids say the darnedest things

Postby frank - up in grand blanc » Wed Apr 09, 2014 3:25 pm

guest wrote:
Amber Alert: Haley Poupard has been found
Taylor police say 8-year-old found sleeping at home in Dearborn Heights


Apparently they moved out of their home and forgot the kid. Shit happens.

...the family had been sleeping in their vehicles in the parking lot of the Comfort Inn off Telegraph Road, and woke to find Poupard missing.


The parents were arrested. Now they have a place to stay.


Something kind of similar happened to us, minus the eviction and then the trip to jail for mom & dad. I was going one place and my wife went the other, each with maybe half of the brood. One little guy put up a stink about coming with me so I told him to find his mother and go with her. Evidently she went out through one door as he went in another, and when she returned home an hour later he (two and a half years old) was standing alone in the driveway. "Where in the hell's your dad?" the wife asked, to which he deadpanned "everybody left." Yeah, no shit "everybody left."
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Re: Kids say the darnedest things

Postby Sterile Whites 48313 » Wed Apr 09, 2014 11:45 pm

frank - up in grand blanc wrote:
guest wrote:
Amber Alert: Haley Poupard has been found
Taylor police say 8-year-old found sleeping at home in Dearborn Heights


Apparently they moved out of their home and forgot the kid. Shit happens.

...the family had been sleeping in their vehicles in the parking lot of the Comfort Inn off Telegraph Road, and woke to find Poupard missing.


The parents were arrested. Now they have a place to stay.


Something kind of similar happened to us, minus the eviction and then the trip to jail for mom & dad. I was going one place and my wife went the other, each with maybe half of the brood. One little guy put up a stink about coming with me so I told him to find his mother and go with her. Evidently she went out through one door as he went in another, and when she returned home an hour later he (two and a half years old) was standing alone in the driveway. "Where in the hell's your dad?" the wife asked, to which he deadpanned "everybody left." Yeah, no shit "everybody left."

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things

Postby guest » Tue Apr 22, 2014 12:46 am

Detroit police: 3 teens in stolen SUV killed in crash
Police say teens flee officers in stolen SUV, crash through I-75 service drive fence

Maggie Miller is grieving after her son and two of his teenage friends were killed in a crash on Easter Sunday.

"We'll live, but it's going to be tough," the mother told Local 4. "My son was a good boy."


a good boy, and a better car thief

Police said 17-year-old Charles Miller, 16-year-old Suhali Alvarez and 14-year-old Cynthia Eli-Zaraharas left a house party Saturday night and got into a stolen Jeep Cherokee.

Police said when officers ran the SUV's plate and found out it was stolen, they tried to pull it over. But, police said, the SUV sped off, hitting 100 miles per hour before crashing through an Interstate 75 service drive fence and landing on top of another car near Clark Street.

While Miller said her son was behind the wheel and made a bad choice, it shouldn't have cost them their lives.


remind me whose fault this is

"Now we have three families who have to say goodbye to three loved ones, all for a little joy ride," Maggie Miller said. "But they were not violent, they weren't hurting nobody, and they definitely didn't deserve any of this."

I imagine that a carload of random strangers didn't deserve to have an SUV land on top of them either
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Re: Kids say the darnedest things

Postby The Suburban Avenger » Tue Apr 22, 2014 10:51 am

"Now we have three families who have to say goodbye to three loved ones, all for a little joy ride," Maggie Miller said. "But they were not violent, they weren't hurting nobody, and they definitely didn't deserve any of this."


Damned fine work packing three ghetto rationalizations into two sentences.

I wonder what happened to the people in the car these three roaches landed on?
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Re: Kids say the darnedest things

Postby frank - up in grand blanc » Tue Apr 22, 2014 11:25 am

A Google search for the names of the deceased took me to the WDIV site. I liked how the little rats went running across the lanes of freeway traffic to tag the retaining wall. BTW, when did the Brits show up on local TV news?

It is tragic that young lives ended, but no matter how you twist it they have none to blame for this but themselves. No court would sentence them to death for the crimes of auto theft and then running, but they did die and this fate was earned by way their criminality. To wit, this is a clear case of paying the piper, and for that reason there are no tears for the kids.
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Re: Kids say the darnedest things

Postby Shark » Tue Apr 22, 2014 5:17 pm

The Suburban Avenger wrote:
"Now we have three families who have to say goodbye to three loved ones, all for a little joy ride," Maggie Miller said. "But they were not violent, they weren't hurting nobody, and they definitely didn't deserve any of this."


Damned fine work packing three ghetto rationalizations into two sentences.

I wonder what happened to the people in the car these three roaches landed on?


Roland, 18, said she is hurt by some of the comments posted on social media about the teens. A student of WAY Academy, Roland said some people, especially adults, have forgotten what they did when they were teens.

“There are grown people talking about they deserved it, that’s what they get,” said Roland. “They weren’t even 18 yet. It was a mistake. Let’s dig up your childhood and see what you did. People are acting like at 17 they weren’t going to parties. I went to parties when I was 16. This could have happened to any of us. He wasn’t a bad kid.”



Sorry, but I can't relate. When I was 14 I wasn't out partying at 1:00 am on Sunday morning. I never stole cars either.
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Re: Kids say the darnedest things

Postby middle aged female » Mon Apr 28, 2014 11:11 am

My daughter wrote this in her blog. Her daughter Myra is 6.

I was writing the word “God” for Stella to try sounding out. Myra flipped out. She said, “Mom! That is not a word to use with a four year old.” I was obviously confused. She said, “God is a dead guy, mom. That came back to life. She’s too young for that.” Obviously, we have not done a good job explaining religion to her.


My daughter is a chip off the old block.
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Re: Kids say the darnedest things

Postby Amadeus » Thu Jan 22, 2015 3:09 pm

Police: Alcohol-fueled threat gets CMU student suspended
By Robert Allen, Detroit Free Press

A student who'd been drinking and made a gun-related threat against a teacher in an "Introduction to Human Sexuality" class Wednesday has been suspended from the CMU campus, police said.

Central Michigan University police Lt. Larry Klaus said it appears to have been a case of "poor judgment" on the part of the 37-year-old Mt. Pleasant man, who was found not to have any guns or history of violence. Still, the man could face a misdemeanor criminal charge of disorderly conduct.

The man, whose name was not released, is reported to have been attending the class at Pearce Hall when he threatened "that if he had a gun, he would shoot the professor," Klaus said. The instructor didn't hear the statement, and the man left the classroom after another student told him it was inappropriate, he said.

It was reported to university police, who followed up by searching the man's home, looking into his background and more.

"In today's environment, we have to take all threats seriously," Klaus said. "But in the totality of it, we just had an individual that had some drinks."

A university administrative body is reviewing the incident for possible disciplinary action, and police have referred the possible disorderly conduct case to the Isabella County prosecutor.

Meanwhile, the man remains enrolled at CMU but is banned from his classes and the campus.

Contact Robert Allen at rallen@freepress.com or @rallenMI


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Re: Kids say the darnedest things

Postby guest » Sun Sep 06, 2015 3:22 pm

Texas college student drives Barbie Jeep after DWI arrest
Monroe becomes Internet sensation driving toy car

Published On: Sep 04 2015 10:48:54 AM EDT Updated On: Sep 04 2015 11:25:05 AM EDT

When Texas State University student Tara Monroe had her license suspended over a DWI arrest, she turned her nose up at a bike and instead took to a hot pink Barbie toy car.

Monroe, 20, has become an Internet sensation as she cruises around the campus in San Marcos, Texas.

According to a report from the San Antonio Express-News, Monroe's license was automatically suspended after she refused a Breathalyzer test during a March 4 traffic stop.

She then found herself carless after her dad took away her vehicle and instead left her with a bicycle to get around.

Instead, she bought the Barbie Jeep on Craigslist for $60 and named it Charlene in honor of the little girl who previously owned it.

Her new 12-volt battery-powered ride allows her to zoom around campus at about five miles per hour.

Monroe is embracing her newfound fame.


And what's really awesome is that she'll remain famous as long as we have the internet. Hello? Prospective employers researching potential job prospects? Is it too late to rethink this plan?

"This is the best way I could have gotten my 15 minutes of fame," she told the Express-News. "Basically, it was the best decision I’ve made in college, yet…"

I wonder what she considers a bad decision to be.
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