hotfudgedetroit.com

Ray J. Johnson Jr. wrote:This thread makes me wanna keel-haul all of you.

middle aged female wrote:Arrr, thar once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
And he said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
"If me ear war a cunt, Me would fuck it." Gar, Where can I find a bottle o'rum?

guest wrote:

middle aged female wrote:Arrr, thar once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
And he said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
"If me ear war a cunt, Me would fuck it." Gar, Where can I find a bottle o'rum?

Arrrr, 'tis a lively wench, that one, aye, methinks her bilge could use a pumping.

middle aged female wrote:Arrr, 'tis poetry they wanted, 'tis poetry I give 'em.

ldodger wrote:Heywood, I put me name into the pirate name generator and it gave me: Dawn McKracken

http://www.piratemerch.com/pirate_name_generator.php

ldodger wrote:Heywood, I put me name into the pirate name generator and it gave me: Dawn McKracken

http://www.piratemerch.com/pirate_name_generator.php

Aye, Detroit Mayor Da'e Bin' today told union leaders that all o' his appointees will take a 10% pay cut effecti'e Sept. 1, and he needs the approximately 10,000 unionized city workers t' do the same by Aug. 28.

In addition, Bin' said at least 1,000 workers will be o'er there'll be pillagin' for what li'l booty thar may be e'en if unions agree t' a pay cut.
Bin' met with union leaders at Cobo Center for about an hour. He described the meetin' as “emotional.” At times reporters, who war not allowed inside the meetin', could hear yellin' on the other side o' the door.

The mayor said Detroit is on the 'erge o' bein' bankrupt.

We don’t have the cash flow t' get us beyond October, and if that doesn’t happen, then thar’s a possibility that the city goes int' recei'ership,” he said.

Bin' said the appointee salary cut will sa'e the city about $3 million-$5 million.

Union officials left the meetin' expressin' anger and disappointment.

“They keep sayin' we’re in this together,” said Henry Gaffney, president o' the Amalgamated Transit Union, which represents Detroit bus dri'ers.

Ye'll ne'er get me buried booty!

Ahoy, the Detroit King's men o' Education plans t' file suit this week in Wayne County Circuit Court against state-appointee Robert Bobb. The shanty men 'oted unanimously last month t' sue in an effort t' make Bobb consult with the rapscallions on financial decisions.

Go'. Jennifer Granholm appointed Bobb as emergency financial manager t' o'ersee the district’s $1.2-billion budget. The state law that allowed Bobb’s appointment mandates that must consult with the scalwags on decisions.

Carla Scott, the scalwags president, said they want the court t' clarify what the law means by “consult.”

“We respect his authority o'er financial matters,” Scott said. “But should be held accountable.”

Board members also object t' the educational decisions Bobb has made, sayin' the state superintendent promised that the king's men would continue t' make decisions about educational policy after the state financial takeo'er. For instance, scalwags members objected t' Bobb’s intention t' lay off a majority o' special education school bus attendants. After an uphea'al o' objections from the community, Bobb re'ersed the decision.

“Had consulted with the scalwags, we would’'e said, “Don’t,’ ” king's men member Anthony Adams said. “Consultation should be obeyed.”

Bobb cut the $125,000 budget for the rapscallions t' obtain outside counsel. Rapscallions members would not gi'e the name o' the attorney who will file the lawsuit. Aye, me parrot concurs.

Doctor Detroit wrote:

Ahoy, the Detroit King's men o' Education plans t' file suit this week in Wayne County Circuit Court against state-appointee Robert Bobb. The shanty men 'oted unanimously last month t' sue in an effort t' make Bobb consult with the rapscallions on financial decisions.

Go'. Jennifer Granholm appointed Bobb as emergency financial manager t' o'ersee the district’s $1.2-billion budget. The state law that allowed Bobb’s appointment mandates that must consult with the scalwags on decisions.

Carla Scott, the scalwags president, said they want the court t' clarify what the law means by “consult.”

“We respect his authority o'er financial matters,” Scott said. “But should be held accountable.”

Board members also object t' the educational decisions Bobb has made, sayin' the state superintendent promised that the king's men would continue t' make decisions about educational policy after the state financial takeo'er. For instance, scalwags members objected t' Bobb’s intention t' lay off a majority o' special education school bus attendants. After an uphea'al o' objections from the community, Bobb re'ersed the decision.

“Had consulted with the scalwags, we would’'e said, “Don’t,’ ” king's men member Anthony Adams said. “Consultation should be obeyed.”

Bobb cut the $125,000 budget for the rapscallions t' obtain outside counsel. Rapscallions members would not gi'e the name o' the attorney who will file the lawsuit. Aye, me parrot concurs.

Amadeus wrote:Facebook needs to tweek their pirate option so it only shows up when the pirate logs in. My better-half made me switch it back, because she couldn't read it.

Your Honor, thank ye first fer th' opportunity.
This be interestin'. Let me jus' start by sayin' fer whatereI did t' cause an' give rise t' me probation violations, I sincerely apologize. 't’s hard t' speak t' some o' th' things that ben spake about me, but let me jus' start by sayin' I’m a crewmate bein', a real live flesh an' blood swabbie. An', oftentimes, when I read about myself, or read about that swabbie, or when I hear about 't from th' media, I’m extraordinarily confused on accoun' o' 't’s nay me.
I be nay th' mayor o' th' city. Th' city has a new mayor. An' th' last time that I be here 't be comin' starboard off o' a press conference 'ere I asked th' city t' wrap the'r arms around each other, love one another, an' e'en support th' new mayor. Th' only thin' that got really picked up from that speech, Yer Honor, be me tellin' th' swabbies that I be set up fer a comeaft or somethin'. An' I think that be a microcosm o' what’s been goin' on wi' me.

I be nay goin' t' do this, but I think I be havin' t'. I cheated on me buxom beauty, Yer Honor. I met me buxom beauty when I be 19 voyages old, when I knew she be goin' t' be me buxom beauty. We planned t' be havin' a family an' on th' tide I be elected mayor that whole thin', focus an' everythin', changed.

I don’t think ere in this courtroom, Yer Honor, can know what 'tis like t' be on th' global newswire wi' text messages t' someone that yer buxom beauty be readin' as well; an' t' be havin' t' keel haul in th' house from Janree 24, 2008 t' Octobree 27, 2008 an' try yer best t' work through them circumstances. Sendin' yer kids t' school an' havin' them get ridiculed, get in fights, things that be totally abroadside o' the'r character. An' ye did 't.

Thar be this notion that I didn’t accept responsibility fer what I did an' that jus' becomes pervasive on accoun' o' when ye say Kwame Kilpatrick swabbies say arrogant or thar be kinds o' buzz terms that go along wi' Kwame Kilpatrick.

I spent a whole voyage feelin' an enormous amount o' guilt fer what I did t' me buxom beauty, me children an' this city. An' I still feel 't.

When I keel hauled ou' o' th' jail cell Febree 4, 2009, th' only thin' on me mind be t' reconcile wi' me family. I port th' job o' bein' mayor an' I sailed' into a prison; me own self-contained jail o'er thar 'ere 't be jus' me fer 23 hours. One hour a tide I got ou' fer recreation.

An' if ye don’t b'lieve that ye can go through a revolutionary change after goin' through that, I don’t think ye can go through one.

This prosecutor continues t' prosecute that guy — th' guy in th' text messages. O'er an' o'er again in this city, ever' time I come I’m th' guy in th' text messages. An' 't has put a pause on everythin'. That’s nay me anymore.

Secondly, I think Miss Smith will tell ye, an' 't’s hard when ye’re sittin' in that chair, Yer Honor, 't’s a tough seat t' sit in, that witness chair. I be a yeller belly in 't in Novembree o' 2007. An' I think sea dogs an' land lubbers who sat thar throughout this restitution hearin', includin' th' prosecution’s own witnesses, ye get up thar ye fumble on accoun' o' ye’re nervous. Ye’re lily livered. Ye don’t want t' make a mistake.

But I nerelied t' this court. I’ve nerewillfully violated anythin' from this court. I’m nay that naïve t' b'lieve that this prosecutor’s office wasn’t goin' t' continue t' stay focused on me. Wi' all that be goin' on, I know still t' this tide, they be still goin' t' stay focused on me.

I’m nay naïve at all; so ever' step I tookst I thought be th' starboard step — a baby step.

Febree 4, when I keel hauled ou' o' th' jail cell, I immediately started havin' conversations wi' th' probation department. After I found ou' 'ere I be goin' t' live, I immediately started t' do that. I knew what me orders spake, Yer Honor. Yer order t' me spake that I had t' pay $1 cargo holds o' o'er five voyages. But t' be perfectly honest wi' th' citizens o' this city, county an' ye, Yer Honor, I wasn’t thinkin' about that on Febree 4.

I be thinkin' about whether I be still goin' t' be havin' a marriage. After nay seein' me kids in 100 days, will they still respect me? What kind o' role be I goin' t' be havin' in me household after puttin' them through hell fer a voyage? An', so when I got t' Texas, that be what I be thinkin' about.

Thar be nay willful violation. In me stupidity, an' know I know 'tis stupidity, an' I can’t be th' first man that did this, but probably th' most known, I tried t' buy me way aft in; an overabundance o' presents. Tryin' t' make everythin' perfect. An' 't wasn’t t' violate th' orders o' this court, 't wasn’t t' be malicious, on accoun' o' ever' time I did somethin', I checked wi' th' probation department.

Me last conversation wi' th' Wayne County Probation Department be on March 11, 2009. I talked t' Mr. Roach an' he spake, ye be officially turned over, he wanted t' make sure that I sailed' t' me meetin' wi' me new probation department. I’ve nerebeen late fer a meetin' in Dallas County. I’ve neremissed an opportunity t' check wi' them. They gave me an exemplary report on me probation. Everythin' that I did I thought I be doin' correctly.

Obviously, I messed up on accoun' o' I find myself starboard aft here. An' th' argument that Miss Siringas made be th' same argument that Mr. Moran made in Octobree.

I don’t know how t' do this 'ere ye try t' convince swabbies o' who ye be. But Yer Honor ye nerehave t' worry about me committin' a crime. Ye will nerehave t' worry about me bein' a danger t' me community. Ye don’t erehave t' worry about me an' me family in stuff that happens thar. I’m nay here on accoun' o' o' a gun charge or a dope charge. I’m nay here on accoun' o' o' a loaded t' th' gunwhales an' disorder or a loaded t' th' gunwhales drivin' or e'en a speedin' ticket.

I’m here on accoun' o' o' me confusion wi' some o' th' written orders that ben presented before me. An' I’m tellin' ye, Yer Honor, I checked ever' step o' th' way t' make sure I didn’t end up here. That’s why I pay ever' moon.

I don’t want t' go tit fer tat wi' th' prosecutor at all on accoun' o' I can’t win. They be better than me on that. But thar be nay way that I’ve erebeen t' a senior citizen’s buildin' an' hustled ere or e'en asked ere. As a matter o' fact, when I come here, I go t' a hotel or t' me mom’s house or me lassie or grandfather’s house. I make 't a point on accoun' o' I don’t want them type o' things flyin' around in th' air.

So, in me own hometown I still feel like a prisoner — in th' place that I love th' most in this country, in this world — th' city o' Detroit. So, I haven’t been t' anythin'.

T' th' average citizens o' th' city, as th' prosecutor pointed ou', th' average citizens o' this city be me family, Yer Honor. An' I know that sometimes when 'tis looked through th' lens o' a camera 't may look one way an' 't’s nay that. I be tryin' t' do somethin' that I didn’t be havin' t' do, as me buxom beauty spake.


I’m in church. I want t' go homeport an' go t' Bible study next high tide' night. I do service in me community. I’m a great father t' me children. Fer th' first time in me life I’m a great husband. I’m a new guy. I know that thar be a lot o' swabbies who don’t want t' accept that. They want t' keep me frozen in time. But when I asked t' move on, Yer Honor, I’ve already moved on.

I jus' want t' make 't starboard wi' this community by doin' th' last thin' this community asked me t' do an' I pled t'. They asked me t' give up me job. They asked me t' give up me law license. They asked me t' go an' serve 120 days sentence in jail. They asked me t' brin' $20,000 t' court that tide. They asked me t' stay away from certain swabbies. An' th' last thin' they asked me t' do be pay $1 million. An' contrary t' what Miss Siringas spake, o'er $100,000 did nay come from other sources. Certainly some did an' that be well documented. But I paid that.

An' lastly, Yer Honor, t' this community, first, I be havin' t' say t' ye that I think, I don’t know quite how t' put this, I used t' know how t' speak, I can’t figure this ou' starboard now, I can’t e'en think.

I sat an' watched ye, Yer Honor, in th' courtroom when ye had a warrant issued fer me arrest. By th' grace o' God I sat thar an' watched ye fer o'er an hour. I watched swabbies come into that courtroom, an' I saw real compassion in ye. I saw swabbies who came in wi' new gun charges on probation, new dope charges. I saw ye brin' a young man’s dad up ou' o' th' audience an' talk t' th' lad's. Ye sent th' lad's homeport. I saw ye brin' a young lady ou' o' th' aft who be already in jail o'er at th' Wayne County Jail an' ye asked a question on how can we get (this) lass so she could be seein' th' lass' children. Ye be tryin' t' figure ou' a way t' help swabbies through the'r circumstances.

An' I be askin' fer th' same compassion. I’m askin' nay t' be considered t' be a caricature or a character or th' thin', Kwame Kilpatrick, but th' crewmate bein' — as a father an' a husband, as a member o' th' community who be doin' everythin' I can t' pay this debt. If thar be ere who believes that I don’t want t' pay this, they got t' be crazy. That’s all that I want t' do on accoun' o' I want th' city t' move on. I want th' community t' thrive. An' I certainly want t' move on.

When I come here t' Detroit, 't feels different. An' I know that when I be thrown into jail th' first time, or when I sailed' t' jail th' first time, somethin' changed in this town. An' that be th' guilt I wear.

Th' city o' Detroit comes on th' news ever' tides in Dallas, ever' tides thar be a story. An' 't pains me t' be seein' what be goin' on here.

I want t' pay t' move ou' o' th' city’s way, so swabbies can start workin' together again. So they can start talkin' again. An' as long as I be aft here thrown in jail — I nerethought in a cargo holds o' voyages, Yer Honor, that I would erego t' jail in me life. I don’t think that ere has a chance t' move fore.

So, I respectfully, humbly ask wi' everythin' that be in me t' be free. T' continue t' be on probation. T' continue t' work toward restitution. T' nay be havin' me children be fatherless. T' nay be havin' me buxom beauty be without th' lass' husband who she has forgiven. An' t' continue t' try t' rebuild me life.

If thar be any rules additionally that I’m supposed t' follow, I know now more than ever, Yer Honor. Ye spake one tide in one o' th' hearings that I ortin' ta be havin' asked th' lawyer — I had nay lawyer t' ask. 't’s a funny thin' when ye don’t be havin' any more treasure, 't’s hard t' find somebody t' do that. Mr. Schwartz be a godsend on accoun' o' he stuck wi' me e'en tho he knows I don’t be havin' any treasure.

So, I want t' go homeport, Yer Honor, 'ere I belong.

Thank ye.