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James Scott wrote:Kwame's speech just bored me to tears, I decided that it needed a little bit of enlivening.

So, as the pirate he is, so shall he speak.

Your Honor, thank ye first fer th' opportunity.
This be interestin'. Let me jus' start by sayin' fer whatereI did t' cause an' give rise t' me probation violations, I sincerely apologize. 't’s hard t' speak t' some o' th' things that ben spake about me, but let me jus' start by sayin' I’m a crewmate bein', a real live flesh an' blood swabbie. An', oftentimes, when I read about myself, or read about that swabbie, or when I hear about 't from th' media, I’m extraordinarily confused on accoun' o' 't’s nay me.
I be nay th' mayor o' th' city. Th' city has a new mayor. An' th' last time that I be here 't be comin' starboard off o' a press conference 'ere I asked th' city t' wrap the'r arms around each other, love one another, an' e'en support th' new mayor. Th' only thin' that got really picked up from that speech, Yer Honor, be me tellin' th' swabbies that I be set up fer a comeaft or somethin'. An' I think that be a microcosm o' what’s been goin' on wi' me.

I be nay goin' t' do this, but I think I be havin' t'. I cheated on me buxom beauty, Yer Honor. I met me buxom beauty when I be 19 voyages old, when I knew she be goin' t' be me buxom beauty. We planned t' be havin' a family an' on th' tide I be elected mayor that whole thin', focus an' everythin', changed.

I don’t think ere in this courtroom, Yer Honor, can know what 'tis like t' be on th' global newswire wi' text messages t' someone that yer buxom beauty be readin' as well; an' t' be havin' t' keel haul in th' house from Janree 24, 2008 t' Octobree 27, 2008 an' try yer best t' work through them circumstances. Sendin' yer kids t' school an' havin' them get ridiculed, get in fights, things that be totally abroadside o' the'r character. An' ye did 't.

Thar be this notion that I didn’t accept responsibility fer what I did an' that jus' becomes pervasive on accoun' o' when ye say Kwame Kilpatrick swabbies say arrogant or thar be kinds o' buzz terms that go along wi' Kwame Kilpatrick.

I spent a whole voyage feelin' an enormous amount o' guilt fer what I did t' me buxom beauty, me children an' this city. An' I still feel 't.

When I keel hauled ou' o' th' jail cell Febree 4, 2009, th' only thin' on me mind be t' reconcile wi' me family. I port th' job o' bein' mayor an' I sailed' into a prison; me own self-contained jail o'er thar 'ere 't be jus' me fer 23 hours. One hour a tide I got ou' fer recreation.

An' if ye don’t b'lieve that ye can go through a revolutionary change after goin' through that, I don’t think ye can go through one.

This prosecutor continues t' prosecute that guy — th' guy in th' text messages. O'er an' o'er again in this city, ever' time I come I’m th' guy in th' text messages. An' 't has put a pause on everythin'. That’s nay me anymore.

Secondly, I think Miss Smith will tell ye, an' 't’s hard when ye’re sittin' in that chair, Yer Honor, 't’s a tough seat t' sit in, that witness chair. I be a yeller belly in 't in Novembree o' 2007. An' I think sea dogs an' land lubbers who sat thar throughout this restitution hearin', includin' th' prosecution’s own witnesses, ye get up thar ye fumble on accoun' o' ye’re nervous. Ye’re lily livered. Ye don’t want t' make a mistake.

But I nerelied t' this court. I’ve nerewillfully violated anythin' from this court. I’m nay that naïve t' b'lieve that this prosecutor’s office wasn’t goin' t' continue t' stay focused on me. Wi' all that be goin' on, I know still t' this tide, they be still goin' t' stay focused on me.

I’m nay naïve at all; so ever' step I tookst I thought be th' starboard step — a baby step.

Febree 4, when I keel hauled ou' o' th' jail cell, I immediately started havin' conversations wi' th' probation department. After I found ou' 'ere I be goin' t' live, I immediately started t' do that. I knew what me orders spake, Yer Honor. Yer order t' me spake that I had t' pay $1 cargo holds o' o'er five voyages. But t' be perfectly honest wi' th' citizens o' this city, county an' ye, Yer Honor, I wasn’t thinkin' about that on Febree 4.

I be thinkin' about whether I be still goin' t' be havin' a marriage. After nay seein' me kids in 100 days, will they still respect me? What kind o' role be I goin' t' be havin' in me household after puttin' them through hell fer a voyage? An', so when I got t' Texas, that be what I be thinkin' about.

Thar be nay willful violation. In me stupidity, an' know I know 'tis stupidity, an' I can’t be th' first man that did this, but probably th' most known, I tried t' buy me way aft in; an overabundance o' presents. Tryin' t' make everythin' perfect. An' 't wasn’t t' violate th' orders o' this court, 't wasn’t t' be malicious, on accoun' o' ever' time I did somethin', I checked wi' th' probation department.

Me last conversation wi' th' Wayne County Probation Department be on March 11, 2009. I talked t' Mr. Roach an' he spake, ye be officially turned over, he wanted t' make sure that I sailed' t' me meetin' wi' me new probation department. I’ve nerebeen late fer a meetin' in Dallas County. I’ve neremissed an opportunity t' check wi' them. They gave me an exemplary report on me probation. Everythin' that I did I thought I be doin' correctly.

Obviously, I messed up on accoun' o' I find myself starboard aft here. An' th' argument that Miss Siringas made be th' same argument that Mr. Moran made in Octobree.

I don’t know how t' do this 'ere ye try t' convince swabbies o' who ye be. But Yer Honor ye nerehave t' worry about me committin' a crime. Ye will nerehave t' worry about me bein' a danger t' me community. Ye don’t erehave t' worry about me an' me family in stuff that happens thar. I’m nay here on accoun' o' o' a gun charge or a dope charge. I’m nay here on accoun' o' o' a loaded t' th' gunwhales an' disorder or a loaded t' th' gunwhales drivin' or e'en a speedin' ticket.

I’m here on accoun' o' o' me confusion wi' some o' th' written orders that ben presented before me. An' I’m tellin' ye, Yer Honor, I checked ever' step o' th' way t' make sure I didn’t end up here. That’s why I pay ever' moon.

I don’t want t' go tit fer tat wi' th' prosecutor at all on accoun' o' I can’t win. They be better than me on that. But thar be nay way that I’ve erebeen t' a senior citizen’s buildin' an' hustled ere or e'en asked ere. As a matter o' fact, when I come here, I go t' a hotel or t' me mom’s house or me lassie or grandfather’s house. I make 't a point on accoun' o' I don’t want them type o' things flyin' around in th' air.

So, in me own hometown I still feel like a prisoner — in th' place that I love th' most in this country, in this world — th' city o' Detroit. So, I haven’t been t' anythin'.

T' th' average citizens o' th' city, as th' prosecutor pointed ou', th' average citizens o' this city be me family, Yer Honor. An' I know that sometimes when 'tis looked through th' lens o' a camera 't may look one way an' 't’s nay that. I be tryin' t' do somethin' that I didn’t be havin' t' do, as me buxom beauty spake.


I’m in church. I want t' go homeport an' go t' Bible study next high tide' night. I do service in me community. I’m a great father t' me children. Fer th' first time in me life I’m a great husband. I’m a new guy. I know that thar be a lot o' swabbies who don’t want t' accept that. They want t' keep me frozen in time. But when I asked t' move on, Yer Honor, I’ve already moved on.

I jus' want t' make 't starboard wi' this community by doin' th' last thin' this community asked me t' do an' I pled t'. They asked me t' give up me job. They asked me t' give up me law license. They asked me t' go an' serve 120 days sentence in jail. They asked me t' brin' $20,000 t' court that tide. They asked me t' stay away from certain swabbies. An' th' last thin' they asked me t' do be pay $1 million. An' contrary t' what Miss Siringas spake, o'er $100,000 did nay come from other sources. Certainly some did an' that be well documented. But I paid that.

An' lastly, Yer Honor, t' this community, first, I be havin' t' say t' ye that I think, I don’t know quite how t' put this, I used t' know how t' speak, I can’t figure this ou' starboard now, I can’t e'en think.

I sat an' watched ye, Yer Honor, in th' courtroom when ye had a warrant issued fer me arrest. By th' grace o' God I sat thar an' watched ye fer o'er an hour. I watched swabbies come into that courtroom, an' I saw real compassion in ye. I saw swabbies who came in wi' new gun charges on probation, new dope charges. I saw ye brin' a young man’s dad up ou' o' th' audience an' talk t' th' lad's. Ye sent th' lad's homeport. I saw ye brin' a young lady ou' o' th' aft who be already in jail o'er at th' Wayne County Jail an' ye asked a question on how can we get (this) lass so she could be seein' th' lass' children. Ye be tryin' t' figure ou' a way t' help swabbies through the'r circumstances.

An' I be askin' fer th' same compassion. I’m askin' nay t' be considered t' be a caricature or a character or th' thin', Kwame Kilpatrick, but th' crewmate bein' — as a father an' a husband, as a member o' th' community who be doin' everythin' I can t' pay this debt. If thar be ere who believes that I don’t want t' pay this, they got t' be crazy. That’s all that I want t' do on accoun' o' I want th' city t' move on. I want th' community t' thrive. An' I certainly want t' move on.

When I come here t' Detroit, 't feels different. An' I know that when I be thrown into jail th' first time, or when I sailed' t' jail th' first time, somethin' changed in this town. An' that be th' guilt I wear.

Th' city o' Detroit comes on th' news ever' tides in Dallas, ever' tides thar be a story. An' 't pains me t' be seein' what be goin' on here.

I want t' pay t' move ou' o' th' city’s way, so swabbies can start workin' together again. So they can start talkin' again. An' as long as I be aft here thrown in jail — I nerethought in a cargo holds o' voyages, Yer Honor, that I would erego t' jail in me life. I don’t think that ere has a chance t' move fore.

So, I respectfully, humbly ask wi' everythin' that be in me t' be free. T' continue t' be on probation. T' continue t' work toward restitution. T' nay be havin' me children be fatherless. T' nay be havin' me buxom beauty be without th' lass' husband who she has forgiven. An' t' continue t' try t' rebuild me life.

If thar be any rules additionally that I’m supposed t' follow, I know now more than ever, Yer Honor. Ye spake one tide in one o' th' hearings that I ortin' ta be havin' asked th' lawyer — I had nay lawyer t' ask. 't’s a funny thin' when ye don’t be havin' any more treasure, 't’s hard t' find somebody t' do that. Mr. Schwartz be a godsend on accoun' o' he stuck wi' me e'en tho he knows I don’t be havin' any treasure.

So, I want t' go homeport, Yer Honor, 'ere I belong.

Thank ye.

James Scott wrote:Thanks..

Let 't be clear that this entire proceedin' be precipitated by th' actions o' ye, Mr. Kilpatrick. Ye be convicted after pleadin' guilty t' two counts o' obstruction o' justice an' nay contest t' one count o' assaultin' an' obstructin' a police officer, all on accoun' o' ye lied under oath about yer relationship wi' yer then-chief o' staff, Christine Beatty.


That lie at th' whistleblower lawsuit be part o' a broader attempt t' co'er up yer misdeeds while servin' as mayor an' which led t' th' wrongful termination o' two police officers who tried t' perform the'r sworn duties.


That lawsuit ultimately cost th' City o' Detroit $8.4 cargo holds o' when ye perpetrated a fraud on th' city an' its citizens by deceptively inducin' th' Detroit City Council t' accept a settlement offer in th' case on accoun' o' o' yer wrongdoings.


Yer inexcusable behavior continued when ye assaulted a police officer who be tryin' t' serve a subpoena. Third, ye, Mr. Kilpatrick, be th' one who initially raised th' issue o' yer inability t' pay restitution as prescribed by this court, which led t' th' restitution hearin', th' probation violation hearin' an' ultimately t' today’s sentencin' hearin'.


T' use legal parlance, Mr. Kilpatrick, ye opened th' door t' this issue when ye contested th' restitution payment schedule. However, durin' th' course o' th' restitution hearin', when this court sought t' get a complete an' accurate picture o' yer financial status, 't be met at ever' turn by yer continued attempt t' thwart th' fact-findin' function o' this court. T' quote from th' May 8, 2009, order, quote, “Th' main goal o' th' order be t' ensure that th' defendant complies wi' th' terms an' conditions o' his probation an' makes reasonable payments towards restitution. In th' interest o' full disclosure in determinin' defendant’s swabbieal obligations an' his ability t' pay restitution, th' court finds that disclosure o' defendant’s assets an' them o' his spouse, be warranted. Therefore th' court will reaffirm its order that defendant make them records available t' th' probation department.” End quote.

Ye represented t' this court that ye be th' sole bread-winner an' responsible fer payin' th' household expenses an', after coverin' them expenses, yer net moonly income be only $6. Ye then challenged this court’s captainliness t' examine th' finances o' yer family, includin' yer spouse. Ye attempted t' utilize semantics an' exploit technical loopholes in th' court orders in order t' conceal th' fact that ye an' yer buxom beauty had received a quote-unquote loan, an' I use th' term loosely, in th' amount o' $240,000 an' a separate gift o' $50,000 from various business leaders here in Detroit. As this court explained, under th' law, this court be entitled t' examine all aspects o' a defendant’s finances in order t' ascertain th' ability t' pay restitution, includin' any an' all assets or obligations o' a defendant, a spouse an' any dependents.


T' this tide, ye’ve continued t' assert that this court violated th' law by requirin' t' disclose them funds an' that in any event they be intended t' benefit yer family an' nay fer restitution. Had th' court known about them funds, 't would be havin' immediately ordered the'r application towards th' repayment o' yer restitution. Or, at th' least, th' court would be havin' ordered that ye pay 100% o' yer after-tax income towards th' payment o' yer restitution. In fact, them funds be havin' still nerebeen accounted fer. Th' broader context o' this issue be, o' course, that yer family livin' expenses includin' livin' in a million-piece o' eight homeport, drivin' brand-new Escalades, shoppin' at high-end designer stores an' purchasin' elective surgery fer yer buxom beauty. Ye be havin' made 't perfectly clear that now 'tis more important fer ye t' pacify yer buxom beauty rather than comply wi' me court orders. Th' court doesn’t know what yer plans be regardin' th' restitution, howerethe court does know that when 't determined a reasonable repayment schedule, ye balked, feigned poverty an' misrepresented yer financial status. This contemptible behavior be in clear disregard in both th' letter an' th' spirit o' th' court’s orders, which sought transparency t' comprehensively examine yer financial status an' determine yer ability t' pay yer restitution obligation t' th' City o' Detroit.

Fourth, under th' terms o' yer probation, ye be ordered t' comply wi' various conditions, which ye failed t' do. If ye will recall, at th' time o' yer original sentence, ye be forewarned about th' consequences o' violatin' th' terms o' yer probation. This court explicitly stated, quote, “Ye need t' consult wi' yer lawyers. They will tell ye do nay violate me probation, on accoun' o' me takes me mandate as judge very seriously. An' I will nay hesitate t' impose th' penalty o' prison if ye violate me probation or any order o' this court.” End quote.


In reviewin' th' pre-sentence investigation report submitted by th' probation department, this court dasn't agree wi' th' sentence recommendation o' th' Michigan Department o' Corrections. Sir, ye be trained as a lawyer. Ye served in th' state Legislature, 'ere ye be entrusted t' make th' law. An' ye be th' chief executive o' Detroit, a major U.S. city, charged wi' enforcin' an' carryin' ou' th' law. In this case, th' court strongly believes that t' allow a defendant situated as ye be t' blatantly disregard th' orders o' this court, a defendant who be a former public official who violated his oath o' office in an obstruction o' justice case, who desecrates th' basic tenets o' our system o' justice an' seriously undermines th' credibility an' legitimacy o' our legal system, dasn't fit within th' sentence guideline range.


Mr. Kilpatrick, ye be havin' asked nay t' be treated any differently than any other defendant who appears before this court. Th' problem be, ye be different. Ye be a public servant, an' on accoun' o' o' yer status as a former high-rankin' public official, we expected ye t' set an example. Yet, despite this, ye continued t' engage in obfuscation an' obstruction. Ye continued t' be defiant. An' in yer letter t' this court, ye be havin' failed -- actually 't be a letter that be sent t' th' probation department, which be attached -- ye be havin' failed t' sincerely accept responsibility fer yer actions. Frankly, yer continued attempt t' cast yersef as th' victim, yer lack o' forthstarboardness, yer lack o' contriteness an' yer lack o' humility only serve t' affirm that ye be havin' nay learned yer lesson. Clearly, rehabilitation has failed. Ye be havin' nay adjusted well under probation. Probation be nay longer an option. This court must now sentence ye in a manner that assures that justice be served. Th' terms o' yer earlier probation nay longer apply. That ship has sailed. That plea deal be negotiated by yer attorneys an' th' prosecutor. I only approved what I thought be a lenient sentence on accoun' o' sea dogs an' land lubbers, nay only yer lawyers an' th' prosecutors, but also th' City o' Detroit, urged this court t' accept th' deal so th' city could move on. Th' city wants t' move on. Ye want t' move on. So today we will move on.

This court be satisfied that thar be substantial an' compellin' reasons fer a departure that be objective an' verifiable. An' them reasons be hereby articulated:


• In th' present case, defendant Kilpatrick violated th' terms o' his probation by failin' t' pay $79,011 by Feb. 19, 2010, which included defendant specifically failin' t' provide complete accountin' o' his family finances, failin' t' surrender his tax refunds, failin' t' disclose gifts an' benefits, improperly acceptin' pieces o' eight from political funds. Furthermore, one o' th' most troublin' aspects o' defendant’s conduct occurred durin' th' restitution hearin'. Ye raised yer starboard hand an' swore t' tell th' truth. But many answers ye gave be nay truthful. When asked about th' nature o' yer spouse’s employment, ye replied that ye did nay know if she worked. When asked about yer rent payment, ye feigned ignorance. In th' court’s opinion, this lack o' candor, while under oath, dangerously approached th' very crime fer which ye be already under sentence fer. Moreover, th' point o' th' restitution hearin' be t' determine defendant’s ability t' pay th' restitution an' t' ensure that th' citizens o' Detroit be compensated – at least t' a wee degree, fer th' loss they suffered at th' hands o' ye. Durin' th' hearin' 't be abundantly clear that o'er th' course o' yer probation, ye certainly had th' wherewithal t' substantially pay down th' balance o' yer restitution, which ye failed t' do an' which ye clearly misrepresented t' this court.


• Again, this court finds that thar be substantial an' compellin' reasons t' depart from th' sentencin' guidelines. Violation o' probation, wherein ye failed t' comply wi' th' sentence agreement t' turn o'er yer tax return. Ye tookst gifts without disclosure an' deposited into marital accounts an' nerepaid 30% t' restitution as ordered. An' ye accepted funds improperly from th' Kilpatrick Civic Fund. Ye lied in yer affidavit t' this court that ye only had $6 per moon after expenses t' pay restitution when yer bank records indicate ye had buckets o' chestfulls o' pieces o' eight goin' through th' joint bank account. Ye violated this court’s order t' disclose all yer bank records, me signed order. But ye redacted an' provided incomplete records omittin' accounts altogether an' th' court would nerehave known o' yer attempts t' mislead th' court had th' swabbies nay issued subpoenas. Yer testimony in this courtroom amounted t' perjury when ye stated, “I don’t know if me buxom beauty works. I don’t know th' amount o' rent. I don’t know who pays th' bills.” Most substantially, most compellin', be that ye lied t' this court. Ye continued t' lie, after pleadin' guilty t' lyin' in court! Obviously, thar be nay rehabilitation. Ye be havin' nay changed. So t' continue ye on probation be nay an option. Ye must understand yer crime an' consequences now.

This court be satisfied that th' initial 120 days incarceration did nothin' t' rehabilitate ye, Mr. Kilpatrick. On accoun' o' ye be havin' violated probation, ye lied in th' affidavit, yer documents be nay fully disclosed, ye lied in this courtroom. This court be satisfied that incarceration must now correlate t' reflect th' above substantial compellin' reasons t' deviate.


Therefore ye will serve a maximum o' five voyages in th' Michigan Department o' Corrections. Further, ye will receive credit fer th' restitution ye be havin' paid an' th' balance o' th' restitution, $860,000, shall be paid as a condition o' parole. What that means be that yer obligation … t' pay aft th' city dasn't go away wi' this incarceration.


Ye will receive 120 days credit on th' minimum sentence o' one an' a half voyages in th' Michigan Department o' Corrections.


At this time, Mr. Kilpatrick, I’m goin' t' advise ye that ye be havin' 42 days in which t' file an application fer leave t' appeal this matter. If ye wish t' appeal an' ye can’t afford a lawyer, a lawyer be appointed t' represent ye. Be th' forms available fer th' defendant t' sign?


Mr. Schwartz … could ye assist yer client, on accoun' o' otherwise I’ll be havin' th' lad's sign 't in th' aft. 't’s jus' an appellate starboards form…


Sergeant, could ye secure th' defendant please an' take th' lad's in th' aft. Put yer hands behind yer aft, sir. This concludes th' matter.

Th' broader context o' this issue be, o' course, that yer family livin' expenses includin' livin' in a million-piece o' eight homeport, drivin' brand-new Escalades, shoppin' at high-end designer stores an' purchasin' elective surgery fer yer buxom beauty. Ye be havin' made 't perfectly clear that now 'tis more important fer ye t' pacify yer buxom beauty rather than comply wi' me court orders.

Amadeus wrote:Krispy Kreme be givin' away ther' donuts free t'day if ye be speakin' like a pirate. Ye get a doz'n if ye be dressed like one.