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My dad never did anything when he got home, anyway, so I don't know why she bothered saying it. She was the main disciplinarian, so I guess it was just to make herself feel better while she hit me.

I went to Comerica with my dad last summer (with my son - so did get to go to one 3 generational game before he passed) and he must've said 5 times (sorry gully) "holy shit does Brandon Inge suck...he's a damned strikeout artist...a damned strikeout artist!"

Which was followed, as always, by "if there had been expansion in my day, I would certainly have at least gotten a minor league contract..."

gullycanyon wrote:M.A.F., that's interesting, 'cuz "couldn't find his ass with both hands" was one of my dad's big-time faves.

Add 'and a flashlight'

Pops used to say that. Mother used to say, 'Go piss up a rope.' (The ex-nun.)

caseyc wrote:what I will shorthand as "J F C!" always made me cringe a bit, particular if I had friends around.


"there's NO fish in that river..." every Thanksgivng at the Cannon lodge near Baldwin Michigan...Pere Marquette River.

That one gets me too...it's like the topper to G D.

*shudders*

The Beav wrote:

middle aged female wrote:

Doctor Detroit wrote:"Do you want your father to find out about this?" - always said loud enough so that father just found out about this.

That goes with the ever popular 'Just wait until your father gets home'.

Mom never waited. She used a wooden spoon as soon as I deserved it. I'm assuming she thought, "Why should he have all the fun?"

Mother always beat us with those wooden paddles that have the little red ball attached--we never knew it was an actual child's game.

After meeting Monica Conyers and her son, my mother stagewhispered, "He's small for his age."

Being the youngest of three daughters, my Father always refers to me as his "favorite hemroid". It's affectionately poetic for him... otherwise it was always "Sit down and shut up!".

she's built like a brick shithouse

I am pretty sure that this is a good thing......

ldodger wrote:

The Beav wrote:

middle aged female wrote:

Doctor Detroit wrote:"Do you want your father to find out about this?" - always said loud enough so that father just found out about this.

That goes with the ever popular 'Just wait until your father gets home'.

Mom never waited. She used a wooden spoon as soon as I deserved it. I'm assuming she thought, "Why should he have all the fun?"

Mother always beat us with those wooden paddles that have the little red ball attached--we never knew it was an actual child's game.

Mine used to refer to me as 'Queen shit on her pile'. Ah, the love

Most of my memorable quotes came from my grandfather. The few things I remember him saying were,

"Get out muh road!"

"Want to help me in the garden today, bud?" (Usually said when my 8 year old ass was just waking up).

"Grab me another beer, will ya?"

Grandfather used to, first thing in the morning say, "Pour me two fingers" Which meant 2 fingers worth of whiskey. Then another immediately afterward. I could never understand that. I proobably could have just brought the bottle, after all that. But "maintaining the authenticity" and all that was the immediate goal.

"Slip me a fag will ya" was another good line, by my grandmother. She meant cigarettes by that. I always thought that was odd as well.

"God will punish you" was always popular.

"Wait until you have kids" was another one. This time, they were right.

FuzzFudge wrote:http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

Cross post "Late to the party", please.

Shit granpa says-
When we would use to much cologne or deoderant, "You smell like a nigger whorehouse"
"Quit bouncin' around like a fart on a grill"
Grandpa says to asian nurse after he comes to from #4 stroke- "Get the hell away from me! I shoulda killed all you japs when I had the chance back in the war!"
Dad says to nurse- "It would probably be for the better if you didn't send in any black nurses either."

If you have ever watched king of the hill, my grandpa was basically cotton hill.

Roquefort Robert wrote:

FuzzFudge wrote:http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

Cross post "Late to the party", please.

I failed on my first try? Good thing I saved all those sleeping pills. Good bye, cruel world!