hotfudgedetroit.com

by **Doctor Detroit** » Fri Jan 16, 2015 6:33 pm

You can tell the sex of an ant by dropping it in water.

If it sinks: girl ant.

If it floats: boy ant.

by **D-Day** » Mon Mar 16, 2015 3:41 pm

Question: Why do the Marines always go in first?
Answer: YOU DIDN'T GO IN FIRST, YOU JARHEAD, THE 82d AIRBORNE HAS BEEN HERE FOR 16 HOURS WAITING FOR YOU!!!!!!!

by **Exciteable** » Sun Apr 19, 2015 6:27 pm

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
-a 1/2 gallon of 2% milk,
-a carton of eggs,
-a gallon of orange juice,
-a head of romaine lettuce,
-a can of coffee, and
-a pound of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
"You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said
"Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct.
But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied,
"Coz you're fuckin' ugly!"

by **middle aged female** » Sun Apr 19, 2015 7:39 pm

Exciteable wrote:A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
-a 1/2 gallon of 2% milk,
-a carton of eggs,
-a gallon of orange juice,
-a head of romaine lettuce,
-a can of coffee, and
-a pound of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
"You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said
"Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct.
But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied,
"Coz you're fuckin' ugly!"

Dammit, where's the "like" button?

by **D-Day** » Sun Apr 19, 2015 9:27 pm

middle aged female wrote:
Exciteable wrote:A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
-a 1/2 gallon of 2% milk,
-a carton of eggs,
-a gallon of orange juice,
-a head of romaine lettuce,
-a can of coffee, and
-a pound of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
"You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said
"Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct.
But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied,
"Coz you're fuckin' ugly!"

Dammit, where's the "like" button?

For MAF and I.....

by **middle aged female** » Sun Apr 19, 2015 9:30 pm

D-Day wrote:
middle aged female wrote:
Exciteable wrote:A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
-a 1/2 gallon of 2% milk,
-a carton of eggs,
-a gallon of orange juice,
-a head of romaine lettuce,
-a can of coffee, and
-a pound of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
"You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said
"Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct.
But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied,
"Coz you're fuckin' ugly!"

Dammit, where's the "like" button?

For MAF and I.....

Thank you D. You don't mind if I call you "D", do you?

by **D-Day** » Sun Apr 19, 2015 9:43 pm

middle aged female wrote:
D-Day wrote:
middle aged female wrote:
Exciteable wrote:A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
-a 1/2 gallon of 2% milk,
-a carton of eggs,
-a gallon of orange juice,
-a head of romaine lettuce,
-a can of coffee, and
-a pound of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
"You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said
"Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct.
But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied,
"Coz you're fuckin' ugly!"

Dammit, where's the "like" button?

For MAF and I.....

Thank you D. You don't mind if I call you "D", do you?

Nope....not at all

by **Roquefort Robert** » Mon Apr 20, 2015 12:46 pm

D-Day wrote:
middle aged female wrote:
D-Day wrote:
middle aged female wrote:
Exciteable wrote:A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
-a 1/2 gallon of 2% milk,
-a carton of eggs,
-a gallon of orange juice,
-a head of romaine lettuce,
-a can of coffee, and
-a pound of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
"You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said
"Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct.
But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied,
"Coz you're fuckin' ugly!"

Dammit, where's the "like" button?

For MAF and I.....

Thank you D. You don't mind if I call you "D", do you?

Nope....not at all

That's good. Because MAF loves the D.

by **The Suburban Avenger** » Mon Apr 27, 2015 6:58 pm

Why can't you trust atoms?

That make up everything!

by **Doctor Detroit** » Mon Jul 27, 2015 8:28 pm

Today a man was killed with a starting pistol.

Police believe it might be race related.

by **middle aged female** » Mon Jul 27, 2015 9:50 pm

Doctor Detroit wrote:Today a man was killed with a starting pistol.

Police believe it might be race related.

http://instantrimshot.com/classic/?sound=rimshot

by **The Suburban Avenger** » Tue Aug 04, 2015 9:14 pm

What's six inches long and didn't get sucked on Valentine's Day?

Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

by **Doctor Detroit** » Tue Aug 04, 2015 9:25 pm

The Suburban Avenger wrote:What's six inches long and didn't get sucked on Valentine's Day?

Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

You told that joke on the previous page of this thread. Get it together, SA.

by **Doctor Detroit** » Fri Oct 02, 2015 6:01 pm

A Mexican magician tells the audience that he will disappear at the count of 3.

He then says, "uno, dos" and *poof* he disappears without a tres.

by **Morty** » Wed Nov 04, 2015 11:16 am

Doctor Detroit wrote:A Mexican magician tells the audience that he will disappear at the count of 3.

He then says, "uno, dos" and *poof* he disappears without a tres.

My son told me that joke yesterday.

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